a girl and a monster

I can across this picture a few days ago (it's actually the cover art for an alternative metal group that I've never even listened to!)... and for some reason it made my heart hurt.

The last few weeks have been rough for me because several of my friends/peers have come to talk with me. They were dealing with depression, relationship breakups, bad grades on their first round of tests, parents' divorce, and suicidal thoughts/attempts. In some of the situations the girls had made bad choices and were now dealing with the consequences; in some situations they were merely the victims.

So when I saw this picture I could put my friends--and myself--in this little girls' place. She looks dressed up for a friend's birthday party or for a trip to a portrait studio. The white room that should be filled with lacy curtains, bookshelves full of fairytales and picture books, dolls left haphazardly on the floor after an afternoon tea party, and a canopy bed piled high with stuffed animals.

But she is barefoot. Her hair is missing the ribbons and bows. And she is standing in a room full of doors leading to who knows where/what. And she is staring at the massive tail of some monster as it's leaving the room... but who knows for how long?

See, I feel like some of my friends are watching the monster slither out and are breathing sighs of relief... but are terrified that the monster, the depression, the ex-boyfriend, the angry parent, the suicidal thoughts will come back. And they will be trapped--unless they choose to open one of the strange doors. But what if there's something worse behind that door than the monster who's sure to come back? What if it leads to a a dark tunnel? What if it leads to a maze? What if...?

But what if the monster isn't going to come back? She might as well stay in the room because she might be safe there.

But...

What if there's an exit? What if there's a beautiful garden outside? What if there's sunlight and warmth and butterflies and flowers? What if there's lollipops and fairies and unicorns and magic carpets and shooting stars? What if there's something wonderful behind one of those closed doors?

... and what if all that girl needs is someone to hold her hand, give her hope, and stand right there next to her as she opens the door?

...and what if that someone is me?

Starbucks...

Haha... this totally makes me laugh! And reminds me of something from my psychology classes, maybe?

Serving through medicine for God's glory... together

I'm reading a book called "Where Elephants Fight" written by Dr. Ardill, a missionary surgeon serving with SIM in Jos, Nigeria. The book is about his earlier missions days in Liberia during their civil war. I read it a few years ago, but it didn't really hit home like it has this read through.

I've been reading during my walks between classes, on my way to the Rec center, and on the bus ride to the grocery store... :-) and today one paragraph really hit me. I've been thinking about two seemingly incompatible desires--wanting to be a wife and mom and serve as a missionary physical therapist in Africa for the rest of my life--and wondering how God's going to work it out. It takes a special guy to want to serve in missions in Africa! I know He's going to work it out, but it's still hard to trust Him in the meantime; Dr. Ardill's words really encouraged me that God will work things out!

"...We said a tearful goodbye to our church friends in Baltimore and Dorothy's [his wife] parents and family. Saying goodbye is never easy but this time, for me, it was so much better returning to Africa with my best friend at my side. We were going together with a strong sense of God's leading and His confirmation in so many tangible ways. It had been a great nine months [since the wedding] together in the States. Now we were going out as a team to minister through medicine for His glory."

That's what I desire... a best friend to serve as a team through medicine together! But I want God's best more!!!

Quote

I came across this tonight and for some reason it really resonated with me... yes, it's totally secular, but I like her train of thought:

She’s not the type of girl to wait by the phone, she won’t cry, she knows it’ll get her nowhere, she’ll laugh a lot and often, and she will live her own life. She would like you to be a part of it, but she will do just fine without you.

— (via iamblessed.tumblr.com)