refocusing....

I really never thought this would happen so quickly! I wasn't planning on being here for a few more years at least! And it's something where I will be years behind them... and it's frankly no fun sitting back and watching...


See... I have now officially entered the stage where my friends are all getting married. Let's just say 4 of my single friends bit the dust this weekend (what is it with May weddings?). Granted, I wasn't best friends with any of them, but they were all girls I'd known or had served with for the last couple years.


It seems like I'm always getting the comment, "I bet you're gonna miss your boyfriend while you're in Africa!" And I get to tell them, "well, actually I'm not dating anyone." Not now, never have. And I'm fine saying that, I really am. But I hate the reaction that I get. It's kind of this pity that sneaks into their voice as they reply with, "Well, keep holding out for a good guy, you'll find someone. Don't worry." Or even worse, "Singleness is a gift, and I'm glad you're embracing it" like they think they know all about me...


True. Singleness is a gift. Just like marriage is. Neither is better than the other. The apostle Paul seemed to put singleness above marriage, actually. But 1 Cor 7 is really about being able to serve God in either stage. Sometimes there are places and roles that we can fill better as a single person.


Amy Carmichael and Gladys Alward could not have run their orphanages if they were married. Would Amy have been able to provide a safe home for the temple girls if she was married and the girls were scared of men?


(And since this post is not a treatise on single missionaries, I'm gonna move on... I'm sure we could all list a ton of amazing missionaries who could serve God better because they were single.)


On another hand, would the US military be able to send men and women into combat zones if they were married? There are some missions, my brother tells me, where the servicemen are not allowed to be married. In a situation like "Blackhawk Down" would those men have been able to go back into the firefights if they were more concerned about their wives and children back home than their buddy losing blood from shrapnel in his femoral artery?


See it's all about focus.


"What I mean, brothers, is that the time is short... For this world in its present form is passing away. I would like you to be free from concern... An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord." - from 1 Corinthians 7:29-35


What am I focused on? Am I sitting here wishing I was walking down the aisle? (check) Am I sighing with discontent as I see pictures of my friends' pregnant bellies? (check)  Am I wishing away my singleness which includes an insane--and perhaps unsafe--amount of freedom to do anything, to go anywhere, and be anything I want to be? (hmmm...)


Right now I can serve God better single better than if I was married... so here I am.


This summer should be an incredible time of being 6,000 miles away from cell phone service, instant communication via text, and a whole bunch of distractions. I want to be whole-heartedly in Togo. Serving the doctors and nurses who are serving the people of Togo. Hearing from God what He would have me do after graduate school. 


And undergoing some desperately-needed refocusing.


(you can follow my summer at katiefarr-africa.blogspot.com)