She starts out with a fictional couple's story--how it started out so well and began quite harmlessly between two Christian friends, yet ended in real pain to both parties--and ties all of the book chapters back to that story. When I read the story again after reading the book I saw red flags all throughout the relationship--many of them red flags I hadn't seen the first time.
Here are some of my favorite phrases and quotes that just got me thinking...
"Keep in mind that God created marriage to be an example of the relationship between Christ, the Bridegroom, and the church, His bride. God wants the relationship between a husband and wife to mirror the relationship between Christ and the church: Since marriage begins at the commitment level, we need to line up friendship, dating, courtship, engagement, and marriage with God's depiction. Why should our path toward earthly marriage look or act differently? Our path should be commitment then intimacy." (page 58)
"Many of you would say that friendship is important in marriage, and I would wholeheartedly agree, but are you an intimate friend with Christ before you make a commitment? No! You grow into a deeply intimate friendship with Christ after you make a commitment. Why do we allow ourselves to think that God would be pleased with dating, friendship, courtships, or marriages here on earth that look different than His design for our walk with Him?" (page 61-62)
"Only after we enter into a lifelong commitment with God may we come into the Most Holy Place of intimacy with Him. Step one: a lifelong commitment. Step two: intimacy. It is impossible to love Him before step one, and He does not let us get to know Him personally before the commitment." (page 63)
"Commitment equals protection." (page 64)
"The need for a marriage partner is gone when emotions are freely bestowed on anyone who comes along. I hope my future husband will be starving for female attention. If other girlfriends have filled in my place, my husband won't be longing for me. But if he waits until God introduces us, he will be lonely for female attention and companionship and will appreciate me a great deal more." (page 65)
"Do you fear being single the rest of your life? Or do you fear being in a marriage not ordained by God?" (page 73)
"Next to salvation, your choice of a mate is the biggest decision of your life. God is not going to leave you hanging." (page 80)
"[Tracy] opened up to Mike (two characters is the fictional account she opens the book with) beyond her comfort level in hopes of being more attractive to him, thereby putting her timing above God's timing." (page 86)
She also quoted from a TV show where Dr. Laura Schlessinger was a special guest on the topic of marital affairs and couples who had emotional relationships with others besides their partners. Dr. Laura summarized her feelings on the matter this way:
"Intimacy is not just about physical encounters. When someone shares feelings, secrets, desires, flirts or flatters, or even places himself or herself in a compromising situation, you are being intimate. The final analysis: all forms of intimacy should be reserved for the marital relationship or else you are taking something away. Something that belongs to the spouse and giving it away to someone else. That wasn't what the vows were about.
The ultimate deterrent to all of this is a strong set of moral values, rules, and standards. These keep you from even taking the first step. Because, for sure if you don't take that first step, then you won't be there to take that final fatal step." (page 137)
No comments:
Post a Comment