Ok, so I kind of like heartbeats. Like a lot. I always loved the EKG labs we did in freshman bio and in A&P II, especially when we got to tickle the experiment subject, make a loud noise and scare him, or have him breathe super quickly. It would have sounded something like this:
Your heartbeat is an interesting indicator of what gets you--what makes you tick, what makes you smile, what makes you angry...
what makes your heart go pitter-patter.
If Jesus were to lay His head on your chest, what would He hear? Would He be pleased?
Ever felt like someone's gonna get their heart broken because their head's in the clouds?
Ever thought that someone has no idea what they're getting themselves into?
Ever wanted to be someone's lead balloon?
I sure have.
Maybe it's because I feel like it's my duty to help my good girl friends out when their hearts are so tangled up, when their heads are full of imaginings, and when their eyes only see the wonderful aspects of some guy.
I guess I did actually learn something from a book I read last summer. Check out the full blog post here. But this book made me realize that one of the most destructive thing I can do for a dear friend is encourage her fantasies, ask her "is he cute?" before anything else, and get all giggly when she tells me "see, there's this guy..." Ok, ok... it's fun to do. It's kind of payback for when those friends have done that to us, but seriously... is that in any way helpful?
Ok, before ya'll decide I'm crazy, let me explain that I mean it might be good to be a lead balloon for a friend when she's in the very beginning of a relationship. Then transition to an advisory/prayer warrior role while she's in the relationship. Then her biggest cheerleader when she makes that final commitment of marriage. But sometimes us girls boost up an imagination, a crush, or an unhealthy/ungodly relationship just because we feel like its her choice and we should just be there for her whatever she decides. (on a very rabbit trail soapbox, that very same line of thinking can be super destructive when it comes to a friend/significant other considering an abortion)
I have a good friend who has been interested in a guy for a few months, and recently she believes that he's showing her a bit more attention and perhaps likes her. I remember when another girl and I felt that he liked us both at some point last year because of Facebook posts he'd left on our walls, verses he'd emailed/texted to us, and how he treated us like sisters. I tried to tell my friend that he'd acted similarly to us last year, but she didn't really seem to listen. And every time this friend gets an invite for a movie night, game night, or dinner at the dining hall, she feels like he's even more interested in her.
I just tell her, "I'm glad you're happy, and he is a very nice guy. But he hasn't told you explicitly that he like you--and until he does, you could be setting yourself up for heartache. And if you keep reciprocating, you're not pushing him to actually ever tell you his intentions... he needs to step out on a limb and ask you out. Right now it's all in limbo."
And I see the other girls around her fall into one of two categories. Like me, they're concerned about how over the moon she is, with very little confirmation on his end. Or they're the typical, "OMG, that's so cool! What exactly did he say? Has he called you back? What are you gonna wear?"
I don't know... I'm tired of being on her bad side and getting the "I was happy for you, why can't you just be happy for me" response. But I really hate picking up the pieces of my friends' hearts when guys (good and bad) break them. And unless I'm her lead balloon, who else will?
Actually, it might not be a bad thing to be known as "Katie Farr, L.B."
Any other girls out there willing to be a lead balloon for their good friends?
I just needed to re-read this tonight... I think my Bible just flips open to this Psalm, I've read it so much...
Psalm 31-A David Psalm (The Message)
1-2I run to You,God; I run for dear life. Don't let me down! Take me seriously this time! Get down on my level and listen, and please—no procrastination! Your granite cave a hiding place, Your high cliff aerie a place of safety. 3-5You're my cave to hide in, my cliff to climb. Be my safe leader, be my true mountain guide. Free me from hidden traps; I want to hide in You. I've put my life in Your hands. You won't drop me, You'll never let me down. 6-13I hate all this silly religion, but You, God, I trust. I'm leaping and singing in the circle of Your love; You saw my pain, You disarmed my tormentors, You didn't leave me in their clutches but gave me room to breathe. Be kind to me, God— I'm in deep, deep trouble again. I've cried my eyes out; I feel hollow inside. My life leaks away, groan by groan; my years fade out in sighs. My troubles have worn me out, turned my bones to powder. To my enemies I'm a monster; I'm ridiculed by the neighbors. My friends are horrified; they cross the street to avoid me. They want to blot me from memory, forget me like a corpse in a grave, discard me like a broken dish in the trash. The street-talk gossip has me "criminally insane"! Behind locked doors they plot how to ruin me for good. 14-18Desperate, I throw myself on You: You are my God! Hour by hour I place my days in Your hand, safe from the hands out to get me. Warm me, Your servant, with a smile; save me because You love me. Don't embarrass me by not showing up;
I've given You plenty of notice. Embarrass the wicked, stand them up, leave them stupidly shaking their heads as they drift down to hell. Gag those loudmouthed liars who heckle me, Your follower, with jeers and catcalls. 19-22What a stack of blessing You have piled up for those who worship You, Ready and waiting for all who run to You to escape an unkind world. You hide them safely away from the opposition. As You slam the door on those oily, mocking faces, You silence the poisonous gossip. BlessedGod! His love is the wonder of the world. Trapped by a siege, I panicked. "Out of sight, out of mind," I said. But You heard me say it, You heard and listened. 23LoveGod, all You saints; Godtakes care of all who stay close to Him, But he pays back in full those arrogant enough to go it alone. 24Be brave. Be strong. Don't give up. Expect God to get here soon.
Four of us left from College Station (me, Melissa, Jonathan, and John) and we met up with Peter in Coppell where we stayed with a sweet family that my family met in homeschool group when we used to live there (2001-2005). We quickly made sandwiches to go, dropped our bags off, and hit the road to Ft. Worth!
I knew there would be a lot of students there, but I wasn't expecting 10,000+ students and over 1,000 volunteers!
I wasn't really a big fan of the David Crowder*Band until I saw their "Shine" music video a few months ago...
So, Friday night, first session. We're singing "Shadows" and all of a sudden Lecrae runs out on stage and starts rapping in the middle of the song! :) Gotta love CCM meeting Christian rap!
Friday night was a David Crowder*Band and Lecrae concert... so epic! But by the time we got out of there about 1am we were all pretty hungry, so we stopped at Denny's for their $4.99 Grand Slam! :)
Saturday morning I kick-started my day with coffee and then we stopped at Target for Melissa to grab a mocha and for all of us to buy towels/socks. A big part of Passion is doing something for the community and around the world. Every participant was asked to bring a towel and a package of socks to restock the shelves of Ft. Worth homeless shelters.
We started off the morning in our "Community Groups". Mine was orange and I met up with my "family" that I'd met last night. We spent some time digging into Philippians 2, discussing what we'd learned from the night before, and praying.
My "family"
Then main session, more worship, and Francis Chan speaking. I'd only heard of Francis because a friend recommended his book "Crazy Love" (which I am just now reading). But this guy was amazing! At one point he was so overwhelmed with wanting us all to fall in love with Jesus like he has that he broke down at the podium... all 11,000+ of us are like "ummmmm...." but it was really cool.
The afternoon main session is where we learned about the main cause that Passion2011 Ft. Worth was working for: raising $220,000 to support a 5-person team to translate 90 Bible stories into the language of the Koso people in Mali, West Africa. The video they showed us was just incredible... wow... that session got to me.
Dinner break during which we wandered through the "Do Something Now" area to learn more about the Koso people, see all the towels/socks ready to be donated, give money to the translation project, pray for the Koso people, and sign up for more information about short term missions opportunities around the world.
Then dinner. Thanks to Melissa's iPhone we found a Dickey's BBQ, another Target for its Starbucks, and an elusive McDonald's for a $1 dose of caffeine--we never found that McDonald's in the midst of random 1-way streets in downtown Ft. Worth.
Then back for another main session: John Piper this time. (That guy is way over my head)
This time we were asleep at a more decent hour. :)
Sunday morning also started out with gratutitous amounts of coffee, devotions with our "families", and more incredible worship!
We said goodbye to people, met up with John and his luggage, found a CiCi's pizza (and a Starbucks for a venti sugar-free vanilla iced coffee for me), and got on the road back to College Station. Then a stop in West, Texas for kolaches.
We listened to the CD that was recorded at Passion2011 Atlanta all the way home and I will say that after singing those songs live I will never think of them in the same way! You should definintely buy it... like I mean, you HAVE to buy it!
We got back to town about 7pm, dropped everyone off at their dorms or cars... and 10 minutes later I was on the way to the ER with my roommate. We finally got back to the dorm about 3am...
The bluebonnets were out in full force two weeks ago and a couple of friends and I decided to go take pictures in them before they all died! We drove around for about 30 minutes before we finally found some on the side of a highway. :)
So yeah, these are some of the people that I spend the most time with here at college!
(L to R: Jonathan, Abigail, me, Meghan, Heather, Jake)
