Sadly, this was last year. Actually, March 21st. Oh, but how lovely it would be to have a white Christmas. But I don't think that will happen, considering it's 11:19pm and this is the current weather: 40* and 100% humidity (aka it's raining)...
Friday, December 24, 2010
Christmas-y... or not...
So, I'm scrolling through my Facebook feed (a.k.a. the "stalker feed" to some of my friends), just a few minutes ago and I came across this status update from TWLOHA... I was online to post pictures on a prank profile a group of my friends made, I was thinking about "Santa" coming to visit, calculating how late I could stay up tonight and not be zonked on Christmas morning, but this status made me stop for a second.
For some of us, it's hard to imagine a Christmas without family, without presents, without spending time with those we love, without a warm home and good food. We're used to coming home from college to be with family, traveling to visit grandparents, throwing down a few more air mattresses for the 2nd and 3rd cousins, or even spending a quiet Christmas at home... it's familiar. It's Christmas...
...but if all of that were to change would it still feel like Christmas? Would it still even be Christmas?
Well what if you feel like crap this Christmas? What if you're lonely this Christmas? What if a loved one isn't there around the fire--whether they passed away, estranged themselves, or simply can't make it home for this Christmas? What if you feel haunted by memories that won't let go? What if the presents under the tree aren't as big or as numerous this Christmas? What if you just wish you could feel some sort of joy this Christmas?
Is it still Christmas?
We hear about the little Baby Jesus, the sweet virgin Mary, the beautiful angel Gabriel, and the faithful Joseph...
What about the newborn Baby that's finds Himself laid in a feed trough with work animals all around? What about the maiden who's probably been shunned, turned out, hated, misunderstood, and just underwent the weirdest 38 weeks of her entire life? What about the Messenger who got to give the strangest news to the most unnoticed girl in all of Israel... and got to deal with her first reaction? What about the fiancée who must have felt cheated on, shaken, shocked, and then got told it would all be OK and to just go ahead with plans?
Do you think their Christmas was all warm fuzzies? Or was it the hardest days of their lives? That Christmas day marked the start of all history changing... and I think it might have been worth going through some crap, some loneliness, some hurt, some painful memories, and some sleepless nights in order to welcome the King.
Ok, so that was 2000+ years ago. You say, what does that have to do with me now, with the pain I feel now, the memories I can't erase, the way things are broken now, and the abandonment I'm going through now?
When you look at Christmas in light of family, friends, food, fun, and freebies (a.k.a gifts), then you're right... that has nothing to do with what you're feeling now.
And I could just tell you to stop looking at yourself and to go find someone else less fortunate and to focus on what you do have... but that doesn't help for long.
But what about stripping December 25th down to a Baby in a manger... who didn't stay a baby and became the Savior?
If "Christmas" is too hard this year for whatever reason--and that reason doesn't have to seem legitimate to anyone else--then don't strive to feel happy/grateful, to "get over it," or go through with the traditional jam-packed schedule.
If being at home is hard, that's why coffeeshops are open Christmas Eve.
If you're out of good books, check out Google Books.
If you need something to keep yourself busy, check out some of these events.
I think if we stopped commercializing Christmas, stopped making it the biggest day of the year (with the huge letdown on the 26th), and stripped out the extra fluff, Christmas might actually be a lot more enjoyable... for all of us. Even those who don't feel particularly Christmas-y.
For some of us, it's hard to imagine a Christmas without family, without presents, without spending time with those we love, without a warm home and good food. We're used to coming home from college to be with family, traveling to visit grandparents, throwing down a few more air mattresses for the 2nd and 3rd cousins, or even spending a quiet Christmas at home... it's familiar. It's Christmas...
...but if all of that were to change would it still feel like Christmas? Would it still even be Christmas?
Well what if you feel like crap this Christmas? What if you're lonely this Christmas? What if a loved one isn't there around the fire--whether they passed away, estranged themselves, or simply can't make it home for this Christmas? What if you feel haunted by memories that won't let go? What if the presents under the tree aren't as big or as numerous this Christmas? What if you just wish you could feel some sort of joy this Christmas?
Is it still Christmas?
We hear about the little Baby Jesus, the sweet virgin Mary, the beautiful angel Gabriel, and the faithful Joseph...
What about the newborn Baby that's finds Himself laid in a feed trough with work animals all around? What about the maiden who's probably been shunned, turned out, hated, misunderstood, and just underwent the weirdest 38 weeks of her entire life? What about the Messenger who got to give the strangest news to the most unnoticed girl in all of Israel... and got to deal with her first reaction? What about the fiancée who must have felt cheated on, shaken, shocked, and then got told it would all be OK and to just go ahead with plans?
Do you think their Christmas was all warm fuzzies? Or was it the hardest days of their lives? That Christmas day marked the start of all history changing... and I think it might have been worth going through some crap, some loneliness, some hurt, some painful memories, and some sleepless nights in order to welcome the King.
Ok, so that was 2000+ years ago. You say, what does that have to do with me now, with the pain I feel now, the memories I can't erase, the way things are broken now, and the abandonment I'm going through now?
When you look at Christmas in light of family, friends, food, fun, and freebies (a.k.a gifts), then you're right... that has nothing to do with what you're feeling now.
And I could just tell you to stop looking at yourself and to go find someone else less fortunate and to focus on what you do have... but that doesn't help for long.
But what about stripping December 25th down to a Baby in a manger... who didn't stay a baby and became the Savior?
If "Christmas" is too hard this year for whatever reason--and that reason doesn't have to seem legitimate to anyone else--then don't strive to feel happy/grateful, to "get over it," or go through with the traditional jam-packed schedule.
If being at home is hard, that's why coffeeshops are open Christmas Eve.
If you're out of good books, check out Google Books.
If you need something to keep yourself busy, check out some of these events.
I think if we stopped commercializing Christmas, stopped making it the biggest day of the year (with the huge letdown on the 26th), and stripped out the extra fluff, Christmas might actually be a lot more enjoyable... for all of us. Even those who don't feel particularly Christmas-y.
Camouflage and Christmas Lights
While we're all spending Christmas with our families, opening presents, trying out the new toys, eating favorite foods, and sitting by the fire, remember those who really are grateful it's a "silent night."
Thursday, December 23, 2010
PT schools...
Back in May, before I left for my summer with Mercy Ships, I applied to 6 physical therapy programs in Texas. Way too many résumés, personal statements, and signed observation hours documentation forms.
The summer rolled by as I studied for the GRE in the back room of the Africa Mercy library. Then I came back to A&M, started my senior year, and eagerly waited to hear back from the schools.
Some programs sent me a letter inviting me to interview with them at an upcoming preview day. Those schools then called to tell me that "the (insert school's name here) admissions committee was pleased to offer me a spot in the DPT (Doctorate of Physical Therapy) class of 2013." I soon learned to drop everything else and pick up my cell phone when the caller ID read UNAVAILABLE. :)
Two programs sent me emails simply telling me that I'd been automatically admitted—no interview necessary. One program then invited me to come tour their campus sometime in the spring. The other emailed included an invitation to their Preview Day and while the other applicants had an interview, the other early admit student and I got to chat with a faculty member and basically ask her to tell us why we should come to their school.
I visited four campuses this semester. One of them had an entire day of activities planned for us, gave us more than enough opportunities to chat with current students, and even gave us a tour of the entire campus (granted, that only took like 15 minutes!). One program treated me really well once I told them my name—I think they really wanted me to choose their school. Another program almost worked too hard to convince us that while they were still working on their accreditation (and the class of '13 would only be their second class), they'd be accredited by the time the first class graduated and they were just as good as any other program. And the last campus I visited allowed me to arrange an interview during A&M's dead days before finals. The professor I interviewed with told me about the incredible research she's doing; I think we only spent about ten minutes talking about me and why I wanted to be a PT! :)
So now I've been accepted into 5 of the 6 programs (the last one offered me an interview in January... after I will have already told the other schools yes or no). And it's a lovely feeling. But on the other hand, I was hoping the choice would be made easier by some of the schools not offering me a position in their class.
I was ECSTATIC when Hardin Simmons offered me a spot. I've turned in my acceptance form already and the $1000 deposit needs to be in by mid-January. And then these other top-notch programs accepted me as well... completely complicating my decision. The last two weeks of the semester my friends knew that whenever I answered the phone with, " Hello, this is Katie Farr" I was talking to a PT school, and they could count on something to the effect of "just great..." once I hung up. :)
I have to make a decision by December 30th. 7 days from now. Each program has a great reputation, great clinical opportunities, outstanding faculty, and good national exam pass rates... so how do I decide?
And then I came across this passage as I was reading this morning in II Corinthians 2:
The summer rolled by as I studied for the GRE in the back room of the Africa Mercy library. Then I came back to A&M, started my senior year, and eagerly waited to hear back from the schools.
Some programs sent me a letter inviting me to interview with them at an upcoming preview day. Those schools then called to tell me that "the (insert school's name here) admissions committee was pleased to offer me a spot in the DPT (Doctorate of Physical Therapy) class of 2013." I soon learned to drop everything else and pick up my cell phone when the caller ID read UNAVAILABLE. :)
Two programs sent me emails simply telling me that I'd been automatically admitted—no interview necessary. One program then invited me to come tour their campus sometime in the spring. The other emailed included an invitation to their Preview Day and while the other applicants had an interview, the other early admit student and I got to chat with a faculty member and basically ask her to tell us why we should come to their school.
I visited four campuses this semester. One of them had an entire day of activities planned for us, gave us more than enough opportunities to chat with current students, and even gave us a tour of the entire campus (granted, that only took like 15 minutes!). One program treated me really well once I told them my name—I think they really wanted me to choose their school. Another program almost worked too hard to convince us that while they were still working on their accreditation (and the class of '13 would only be their second class), they'd be accredited by the time the first class graduated and they were just as good as any other program. And the last campus I visited allowed me to arrange an interview during A&M's dead days before finals. The professor I interviewed with told me about the incredible research she's doing; I think we only spent about ten minutes talking about me and why I wanted to be a PT! :)
I was ECSTATIC when Hardin Simmons offered me a spot. I've turned in my acceptance form already and the $1000 deposit needs to be in by mid-January. And then these other top-notch programs accepted me as well... completely complicating my decision. The last two weeks of the semester my friends knew that whenever I answered the phone with, " Hello, this is Katie Farr" I was talking to a PT school, and they could count on something to the effect of "just great..." once I hung up. :)
I have to make a decision by December 30th. 7 days from now. Each program has a great reputation, great clinical opportunities, outstanding faculty, and good national exam pass rates... so how do I decide?
And then I came across this passage as I was reading this morning in II Corinthians 2:
"12 Now when I went to Troas to preach the gospel of Christ
and found that the Lord had opened a door for me,
13 I still had no peace of mind, because I did not find my brother Titus
there. So I said good-by to them and went on to Macedonia.
14 But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal
procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere
the fragrance of the knowledge of him."
2 Corinthians 2:12-14
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Today I feel...
(taken 4-3-10 in downtown Bryan)
A little like the train is coming... and I'm stuck on the tracks.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Comfort...
Have you ever just opened your Bible not really sure what you're looking for, knowing that God is only one who can supply it, but not really knowing where to go?
Today is one of those days. I'm sitting here in the Starbucks right across from campus, savoring my venti triple peppermint mocha and I just opened my Bible to 2 Corinthians. No particular reason, except that I hadn't read it in a while.
And I got stuck on chapter 1:3-11
Today is one of those days. I'm sitting here in the Starbucks right across from campus, savoring my venti triple peppermint mocha and I just opened my Bible to 2 Corinthians. No particular reason, except that I hadn't read it in a while.
And I got stuck on chapter 1:3-11
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.
We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, about the troubles we experienced in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us again. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many.
I needed a little comfort this morning, I guess. I wasn't really sure what I was expecting. In fact, I was skeptical that I would feel any better by reading in the Word... but I feel kind of guilty that as a Bible study leader I tell my girls to go to God with their worries and troubles and yet I rarely do so myself. So today I was like, whatever... I guess I'll try it... And God had something to show me this morning.
I think I'm supposed to be comforted today. And oddly enough, I am.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Da Jesus Book...
This is copied from Alison's blog, and was just too good to not share. Alison was an OR nurse I met while on the Africa Mercy.
This passage was shared at the missions conference from da Jesus Book. Translation: The Bible in Hawaiian Pidgin. This is the great commission, Matthew 28:18- 20, in where Christ commands us to go out and make disciples as he promises us he will stick with us until the very end of the earth... or it until it goes pow.
"Den Jesus go near dem an say, “God wen give me all da power, so now I in charge a everyting all ova da world an inside da sky. So you guys, go all ova da world an teach all da diffren peopos, so dey can learn bout me an come my guys. Baptize dem, an dey goin come tight wit my Fadda, an me his Boy, an God's Good an Spesho Spirit. Teach um how fo do everyting dat I wen tell you guys fo do. An you know wat? I goin stick wit you guys all da way, till da world goin pau.” Matthew 28:18-20
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Fightin' Texas Aggie Weekend
This past weekend has been one of the best weekends of my life... not sure exactly how high it ranks, but it's way up there!
There are TONS of traditions here at A&M, many of them over a hundred years old. And a good number of them seem to fall towards the end of the fall semester.
November 18, 1999 is a special day here in Aggieland. At 2:42am twelve students lost their lives when a giant bonfire collapsed. This bonfire takes several months and hundreds of students' work to cut and stack, and is usually lit the week before the rival football game with t.u. (also known as the University of Texas). The last couple of weeks before burn students work 24/7 to finish building it--and sometimes tragedies happen.
Bonfire is no longer a university-sanctioned event and is now held off-campus, but dozens of organization and dorms join hundreds of current students and Corps of Cadets members to pull of this amazing event. But in the amazingness of Bonfire, we never forget those 12. There's a beautiful memorial built on the on-campus site, and every year at 2:42 thousands of current and former students gather to remember our fellow Aggies.
Late Saturday games are wonderful. Slept til 10am, went to Starbucks to study for a few hours, then to a tailgate with Brian and his old Corps of Cadets outfit. 
There were SO many people yesterday!!! We were trying for a national record in student attendance (31,005) and also happened to get a record A&M attendance (90,079)! The stadium was so insanely loud; a friend of mine who was watching the game on ESPN told me the announcer said it was the loudest game they'd ever recorded at!
It was both a Maroon Out game (every student was supposed to wear a maroon T-shirt) and a 12th Man Towel Out game (every student was supposed to wave their white 12th Man towel)... let's just say it was a ridiculous game! And a wonderful way to finish out my undergraduate Aggie football experience!
We won 9-6 versus the Nebraska Cornhuskers. We were #1 in the Big 12 for offense and they were #1 in defense... and the game was entirely composed of field goals. I don't think either team was closer than 5yds from the goal line!
"No student body enjoys its football team quite like Texas A&M... There's nothin' like it--the Aggie War Hymn" - ESPN announcer
Then off to get pizza and sleep... not necessarily one right after the other. Thank goodness for "the day of rest" today!
Tomorrow, I register for my last semester of classes, give a presentation about a hypothetical research project I designed, learn about the skeletal muscle pump for the cardiovascular system (Exercise Physiology), mood disorders (Abnormal Psychology), and get a good workout (Step Aerobics PE class). Then off to an induction ceremony for the new members of Phi Epsilon Kappa, the research-based Kinesiology honors society I'm involved in, and then end out my day with our weekly RA meeting.
And while the semester winds down and I start the avalanche of "last times I'll ever..." I have to say that I love A&M and I love being a part of a school that remembers the past by honoring traditions and embraces the future by training leaders and conducting ground-breaking research!
There are TONS of traditions here at A&M, many of them over a hundred years old. And a good number of them seem to fall towards the end of the fall semester.
November 18, 1999 is a special day here in Aggieland. At 2:42am twelve students lost their lives when a giant bonfire collapsed. This bonfire takes several months and hundreds of students' work to cut and stack, and is usually lit the week before the rival football game with t.u. (also known as the University of Texas). The last couple of weeks before burn students work 24/7 to finish building it--and sometimes tragedies happen.
(the morning after it collapsed)
Bonfire is no longer a university-sanctioned event and is now held off-campus, but dozens of organization and dorms join hundreds of current students and Corps of Cadets members to pull of this amazing event. But in the amazingness of Bonfire, we never forget those 12. There's a beautiful memorial built on the on-campus site, and every year at 2:42 thousands of current and former students gather to remember our fellow Aggies.
(aerial view of the memorial with the rest of campus in the background)
So, after my Bible study got out and all my girls got back to their studying, I went back to my dorm and made tons of coffee and worked on a presentation for my class tomorrow morning. Then my friend Abigail and I got all bundled up and walked over to the memorial. We got there about 1:50am and stood with the hundred or so others that were already there. She and I were about 15 feet from the center where the 12 students' families and friends were. We all stood in absolute silence as we waited for the thousands of others to come. At 2:42 one of the parents read the poem "The Last Corps Trip," read off the names of the twelve and we sang "Amazing Grace" followed by the "Spirit of Aggieland" and the Aggie War Hymn. Then we all silently left. Doesn't sound like much and it was literally 40* out there and Abigail and I stood silently out there at 2am for like an hour and a half... but that's what you do when you're an Aggie.
(walking up to the Bonfire Memorial ~1:45am)
(leaving the memorial ~3:05am)
Got back to the dorm about 3:30am, set the coffee pot on autobrew for 7:15am, and got a few hours of sleep before meeting three classmates for a field trip to a maximum security juvenile detention facility about an hour away. It was a rather interesting trip.
Came back, slept, did homework, had dinner with the Navigator staff girl who's discipling me, and then went out country western dancing with Brian and a friend of his. I'm taking a PE credit Country Western Dance class this semester and our jitterbug skills test is this Tuesday... I'm in woeful need of more practice! Off to bed at midnight.
Friday--skipped both morning classes (gotta love recalling favors from classmates earlier in the semester) and did homework/laundry all day. Then some friends came over for a movie night ("Return of the King"), and I headed off to meet another friend for Midnight Yell.
See, Midnight Yell is another crazy late-night/early morning tradition we Ags hold the night before a home football game. It has been called a "pep rally" by some teasips in Austin and most recently "cheer practice" by the Nebraska Cornhuskers' head coach. Basically, thousands of students meet in Kyle field to practice the yells, hear our Yell Leaders poke fun at the opponents, and--in some cases--find a date for the next day's game.
The friend I went with is a Junior in the Corps of Cadets and while all the other students and cadets are in the stands, the Corps Juniors and their "dates" get to stand out on the field. I randomly ran into a friend of mine that I met a year ago over human bones and a dead cat in Anatomy & Physiology I. :)
Then, off to get food and get to bed. 4am this time.
Late Saturday games are wonderful. Slept til 10am, went to Starbucks to study for a few hours, then to a tailgate with Brian and his old Corps of Cadets outfit. Then off to march-in a few hours later. All the outfits march down the center of campus and around the track in Kyle Field just before the game.
It was both a Maroon Out game (every student was supposed to wear a maroon T-shirt) and a 12th Man Towel Out game (every student was supposed to wave their white 12th Man towel)... let's just say it was a ridiculous game! And a wonderful way to finish out my undergraduate Aggie football experience!
(my usual seat is somewhere up there on 3rd deck...)
(The Fightin' Texas Aggie Band!)
(this very well could have been the closest either team got to the goal line!)
(let's just say that we were a *little* excited!)
We won 9-6 versus the Nebraska Cornhuskers. We were #1 in the Big 12 for offense and they were #1 in defense... and the game was entirely composed of field goals. I don't think either team was closer than 5yds from the goal line!Since the game started at 7pm it didn't finish til like 10:30pm. My friend and I had 3rd row seats the the North 5yd line with the rest of the Corps... and as soon as the game clock hit 0:00, we all charged the field . Mind you, this is the first time in several years that we've done that! It was SO cool to sing the Aggie War Hymn out on the field!
(from the field looking out on the student section of Kyle Field)
"No student body enjoys its football team quite like Texas A&M... There's nothin' like it--the Aggie War Hymn" - ESPN announcer
Then off to get pizza and sleep... not necessarily one right after the other. Thank goodness for "the day of rest" today!
Tomorrow, I register for my last semester of classes, give a presentation about a hypothetical research project I designed, learn about the skeletal muscle pump for the cardiovascular system (Exercise Physiology), mood disorders (Abnormal Psychology), and get a good workout (Step Aerobics PE class). Then off to an induction ceremony for the new members of Phi Epsilon Kappa, the research-based Kinesiology honors society I'm involved in, and then end out my day with our weekly RA meeting.
And while the semester winds down and I start the avalanche of "last times I'll ever..." I have to say that I love A&M and I love being a part of a school that remembers the past by honoring traditions and embraces the future by training leaders and conducting ground-breaking research!
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Aggie Football
Pardon the awful resolution on my phone... but the sunset this past Saturday (halfway through the 2nd quarter) was amazing...
The famous "T" by the Aggie Band... this is the first time all season that they've done it facing the student section!
One of the traditions at football games is the Senior Boot Line; all the seniors form two lines out on the field at the end of halftime and the football players run between them to start the second half... been waiting for this football season for quite a while!
(my friend, and Bible study co-leader, Meghan)
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Sunday, October 17, 2010
The "Hand of Hope"
Have ya'll ever seen a picture that made your heart just melt? I did last week. But, before that... a little background information...
I just started volunteering at a pregnancy center here in town. I found out about it at a girls' conference this past February. As part of the Masterpiece conference, they had an evening coffeehouse setup with booths and information tables from different ministries where we could get involved. As I walked by one table I overheard an older lady talking to a couple other college girls about her ministry's need for homemade quilts and baby items. My ears perked up and I stopped to listen in. :)
The more I found out about Hope Pregnancy Center, the more I got excited about possibly volunteering with them. My summer in Africa taught me that I really do like the behind-the-scenes service; I do enough front-lines stuff and I need a break and I need to serve those who I will probably never see again and cannot do anything to repay me.
My research into VVF and women's health issues in Africa as well as the book "Half the Sky" (EXCELLENT READ!) showed me the huge needs women facing crisis pregnancies are going through. And I'm realizing that crisis pregnancies are more than girls that were stupid/got themselves into trouble. And the more I talk to people who are Pro-Life, the more I get frustrated by the fact that most people only care about the baby and overlook the intense needs the mother has!
So, as soon as I got back into town and realized that lovely bus 26 drops off right by Hope, I went to see how I could volunteer. I left with a dauntingly thick application that requested 2 recommendation letters, my salvation testimony, and an interview scheduled with the volunteer coordinator.
Then I went through a weekend with 14.5 hours of training. And then a 3-hour video on "abortion apologetics." And now I'm in weeks upon weeks of training and shadowing counselors before I will be able to counsel clients. But it's all good.
Some people have asked me why I volunteer at Hope. That's a really long conversation, but here are the top reasons:
I just started volunteering at a pregnancy center here in town. I found out about it at a girls' conference this past February. As part of the Masterpiece conference, they had an evening coffeehouse setup with booths and information tables from different ministries where we could get involved. As I walked by one table I overheard an older lady talking to a couple other college girls about her ministry's need for homemade quilts and baby items. My ears perked up and I stopped to listen in. :)
The more I found out about Hope Pregnancy Center, the more I got excited about possibly volunteering with them. My summer in Africa taught me that I really do like the behind-the-scenes service; I do enough front-lines stuff and I need a break and I need to serve those who I will probably never see again and cannot do anything to repay me.
My research into VVF and women's health issues in Africa as well as the book "Half the Sky" (EXCELLENT READ!) showed me the huge needs women facing crisis pregnancies are going through. And I'm realizing that crisis pregnancies are more than girls that were stupid/got themselves into trouble. And the more I talk to people who are Pro-Life, the more I get frustrated by the fact that most people only care about the baby and overlook the intense needs the mother has!
So, as soon as I got back into town and realized that lovely bus 26 drops off right by Hope, I went to see how I could volunteer. I left with a dauntingly thick application that requested 2 recommendation letters, my salvation testimony, and an interview scheduled with the volunteer coordinator.
Then I went through a weekend with 14.5 hours of training. And then a 3-hour video on "abortion apologetics." And now I'm in weeks upon weeks of training and shadowing counselors before I will be able to counsel clients. But it's all good.
Some people have asked me why I volunteer at Hope. That's a really long conversation, but here are the top reasons:
- if I was facing a crisis pregnancy--whether because of pre-marital sex, just having moved to a new country (there are a lot of international graduate students/families here in College Station), needed some financial assistance, or just needed a Christian woman to talk with--I would want to have somewhere like Hope
- I'm accumulating tools for my "toolbox." More people skills, more counseling training, more knowledge about controversial topics, and more opportunities to pour into people.
- there's nothing like being able to offer an expectant mother a handmade baby blanket
- it's one little life at a time
- it's meeting someone at probably their greatest need so far and introducing them to Someone who will truly never leave them, will truly forgive them, and will truly provide for them
- it gets me off campus and out of my bubble of college life and into the community
So anyway... about the picture. During training we were discussing under what circumstances/if ever abortion was acceptable and how the marvels of modern medicine were making many of those pre-natal complications irrelevant reasons for abortion. Then we heard the story of Samuel who was diagnosed with spina bifida and in 1999 underwent pre-natal corrective surgery.
And if you ever doubt that the little one inside is an independent and viable life, let this picture speak for itself... and see if it melts your heart.
The Hand of Hope
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Ready... or lonely?
(from satelliteofyou.tumblr.com)
I think I've said something similar to this to at least three different girls in the last two days.What is it with being lonely and automatically assuming that falling in love will solve that loneliness? Yes, being lonely sucks.
But why, oh why do we girls force ourselves to find a guy, force ourselves to wonder if he could be the guy, and force ourselves to be overly excited about something so simple as saying hi to a nice guy in class? Why do we do this to ourselves instead of waiting for our heart to be ready. Instead of waiting for life to be ready. Instead of waiting for him to be ready. Instead of waiting for God's path to be ready. Why do we force it?
Here are some of my loneliness busters... I'm the type of person to--instead of focusing on me--find ways to work with others. Which is all well and good until I realize that I have just been making busyness a loneliness buster in and of itself... and who needs to be even more busy?
I love my espresso maker--foamed milk is the best.
I love falling asleep in the sun--catching the last rays of warm summer.
I love journaling--being forced to come up with words and attempting to lay events out in a sensible manner helps things make sense.
I love working out--hearing your headbeat in your head makes it hard to focus on anything else.
I love girlie movies--anything from Twilight to Pride & Prejudice.
I love blood-n-guts war movies--it's hard not to laugh at the gratuitous amount of fake blood and incorrectly treated injuries.
I love my laptop--some would argue I love it too much.
I love quietness--gives my mind a chance to actually stop and sit still.
I love my Bible--underlined and highlighted in so strange a manner that no one else could decipher the system, but it's worth the world to me.
What does your heart do when it's lonely?
Friday, October 8, 2010
This is going to be good.
I came across this last week... have to say that satelliteofyou has some beautiful photos.
Fall is going to be good. The pumpkin spice latte at Starbucks has made its blessed return, football season is in full swing, the University Dining Services is selling caramel apple cider at the on-campus coffee shops, long-sleeve Ts are coming out of boxes, the Christmas season is soon approaching, it's not quite cold enough to stop wearing Chacos, I'm no longer sweating buckets walking across campus, the cold air wakes me up on my way to my first class of the day (and then it warms up by noon so I can shed the sweater), I'll soon be 21, pumpkins are on sale at the grocery store, the crockpot is getting good use...
It's gonna be good. It feels like waking up. It feels like coming back. It reminds me of a favorite Sara Groves song, "It Might Be Hope."
<
You do your work the best that you can
you put one foot in front of the otherlife comes in waves and makes its demands
you hold on as well as you're able
You've been here for a long long time
Hope has a way of turning its face to you
just when you least expect it
you walk in a room
you look out a window
and something there leaves you breathless
you say to yourself
it's been a while since I felt this
but it feels like it might be hope
It's hard to recall what blew out the flame
you talk it all through to find it a name
as days go on by without number
You've been here for a long long time
Hope has a way of turning its face to you
just when you least expect it
you walk in a room
you look out a window
and something there leaves you breathless
you say to yourself
it's been a while since I felt this
but it feels like it might be hope
Monday, October 4, 2010
Browsing history...
What are the eight sites I visit the most (according to Google Chrome)?
1) Facebook (no comment!)
1) Facebook (no comment!)
2) A&M Library Homepage (I love their "Get It For Me" service that emails me .pdfs of ANY research article from ANY publication in like the last 30 years. Makes writing-intensive classes a whole lot easier)
3) KINE 433 homepage (Exercise Physiology class)
4) A&M Email (this must be checked at least 3 times a day so as not to miss important class information, changed meeting times and locations, and to keep up with RA information)
5) A&M ResLife Homepage (my one-stop resource for everything related to being an RA!)
6) A&M Transportation Services Homepage (bus route maps!)
7) Pandora (my A*Teens station is my favorite... let's just say that listening to it for the last year has allowed me to screen out all the random artists and songs and I'm pretty happy to be reminded of my childhood!)
8) Google Calendar (wow... I think I need a secretary to keep my life perfectly scheduled. But alas, since I am a poor college student Google must suffice)
I think I could also add Gmail, YouTube, IMDB, xkcd.com, and blogger to that list...
It comes down to priorities. You know how pastors always say that if you want to find out what is an idol in your life just look at where your money goes, where your mind goes when you daydream, and where your time goes. I guess you could include browsing history in that list. :)
Saturday, September 25, 2010
What are you wearing?
I like how you can tell things about a person by what they wear. I love how you can tell so much more about that person by what they always wear.
Over the last 6 months I've accumulated several things that I always wear... they give me stories to tell, they remind me of what's important in life, and they remind me of who I am/who I want to be.
My RoadID. This is the most recent addition, thanks to encouragement from my brother Brian. It has several emergency numbers and some basic medical information... and on the bottom line it read "No reserves... no regrets," a shorter rendition (to make it fit on one line!) of Jim Elliot's "no reserves, no retreats, no regrets." OK, maybe I'm paranoid about something happening to me, but I'd like to know that if I get run over or collapse at a football game or something that a bystander would find my RoadID on my ankle and would be able to contact my family! And hey, it could become a fashion statement; look at Chacos--and now Vibram Five Fingers! :)
My promise ring. This came from my dad on my 16th birthday and I've worn it every single day ever since then. It shows quite a bit of wear and the band is all scratched up, but I love the garnet stone that reminds me of Proverbs 31:10 "...her price is far above rubies." And did I mention that it's made by my favorite jewelry company ever, James Avery? I love how it looks almost medieval and it made both Dad and me happy--he wanted gold and I hardly ever wear gold jewelry; white gold is the perfect solution! :)
My heart's not my own... and part of it's in Africa. My dad gave me the heart charm and I picked up the Africa charm at a little artisan market in Lome, Togo. So many people have commented on this necklace and have asked me, "Is there a reason that Africa is special to you?" And I reply that I plan on spending the rest of my life there. It's more than a place I want to go on a missions trip, it's more than a reminder that I need to increase awareness about social justice... it's part of my heart.
So that's what I'm wearing... this pretty much describes me, who I am, who I want to be, and what I want the world to know about me. What are you wearing?
Over the last 6 months I've accumulated several things that I always wear... they give me stories to tell, they remind me of what's important in life, and they remind me of who I am/who I want to be.
My Aggie ring. Engraved on the inside is "Katherine Elizabeth Farr" and it has '12 as my class year. (But yes, I'm graduating in 2011... long story). There are many Aggie traditions and so much Aggie history tied to the ring. And I love meeting fellow Aggies all around the world just because we noticed each other's rings. Ask me about the lovely older couple I met in the Narita airport in Japan in 2006 or the Mercy Ships chaplain that I met this summer. :)
So that's what I'm wearing... this pretty much describes me, who I am, who I want to be, and what I want the world to know about me. What are you wearing?
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Relationships Part 3 - Emotional Purity
She starts out with a fictional couple's story--how it started out so well and began quite harmlessly between two Christian friends, yet ended in real pain to both parties--and ties all of the book chapters back to that story. When I read the story again after reading the book I saw red flags all throughout the relationship--many of them red flags I hadn't seen the first time.
Here are some of my favorite phrases and quotes that just got me thinking...
"Keep in mind that God created marriage to be an example of the relationship between Christ, the Bridegroom, and the church, His bride. God wants the relationship between a husband and wife to mirror the relationship between Christ and the church: Since marriage begins at the commitment level, we need to line up friendship, dating, courtship, engagement, and marriage with God's depiction. Why should our path toward earthly marriage look or act differently? Our path should be commitment then intimacy." (page 58)
"Many of you would say that friendship is important in marriage, and I would wholeheartedly agree, but are you an intimate friend with Christ before you make a commitment? No! You grow into a deeply intimate friendship with Christ after you make a commitment. Why do we allow ourselves to think that God would be pleased with dating, friendship, courtships, or marriages here on earth that look different than His design for our walk with Him?" (page 61-62)
"Only after we enter into a lifelong commitment with God may we come into the Most Holy Place of intimacy with Him. Step one: a lifelong commitment. Step two: intimacy. It is impossible to love Him before step one, and He does not let us get to know Him personally before the commitment." (page 63)
"Commitment equals protection." (page 64)
"The need for a marriage partner is gone when emotions are freely bestowed on anyone who comes along. I hope my future husband will be starving for female attention. If other girlfriends have filled in my place, my husband won't be longing for me. But if he waits until God introduces us, he will be lonely for female attention and companionship and will appreciate me a great deal more." (page 65)
"Do you fear being single the rest of your life? Or do you fear being in a marriage not ordained by God?" (page 73)
"Next to salvation, your choice of a mate is the biggest decision of your life. God is not going to leave you hanging." (page 80)
"[Tracy] opened up to Mike (two characters is the fictional account she opens the book with) beyond her comfort level in hopes of being more attractive to him, thereby putting her timing above God's timing." (page 86)
She also quoted from a TV show where Dr. Laura Schlessinger was a special guest on the topic of marital affairs and couples who had emotional relationships with others besides their partners. Dr. Laura summarized her feelings on the matter this way:
"Intimacy is not just about physical encounters. When someone shares feelings, secrets, desires, flirts or flatters, or even places himself or herself in a compromising situation, you are being intimate. The final analysis: all forms of intimacy should be reserved for the marital relationship or else you are taking something away. Something that belongs to the spouse and giving it away to someone else. That wasn't what the vows were about.
The ultimate deterrent to all of this is a strong set of moral values, rules, and standards. These keep you from even taking the first step. Because, for sure if you don't take that first step, then you won't be there to take that final fatal step." (page 137)
Wait
Wait - by Russell Kelfer
Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, "Wait."
"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.
"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.
"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."
Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"
He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.
"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.
"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.
"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.
"The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.
"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you.
"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait."
Butterflies
I finally learned something about anatomy that's relevant... and it didn't come from a textbook!
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Monday, June 28, 2010
Psalm 31
This psalm has become one of my favorites over the last few months. Below are selected phrases from the NIV
"I will be glad and rejoice in your love for You saw my affliction and knew the anguish of my soul...But I trust in You, O LORD; I say, "You are my God... "My times are in Your hands... How great is Your goodness which you have stored up for those who fear You... In the shelter of your presence You hide them. Praise be to the LORD, for He showed His wonderful love to me... In my alarm I said, "I am cut off from Your sight!" Yet You heard my cry for mercy when I called to You for help... The LORD preserves the faithful... Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the LORD." Psalm 31
"I will be glad and rejoice in your love for You saw my affliction and knew the anguish of my soul...But I trust in You, O LORD; I say, "You are my God... "My times are in Your hands... How great is Your goodness which you have stored up for those who fear You... In the shelter of your presence You hide them. Praise be to the LORD, for He showed His wonderful love to me... In my alarm I said, "I am cut off from Your sight!" Yet You heard my cry for mercy when I called to You for help... The LORD preserves the faithful... Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the LORD." Psalm 31
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Relationships Part 2 - "Ezer"
I just finished "Captivating" the day before I left for Africa. It's taken me since last November to get through... partly because the guided journal chapters are so long, I never seemed to have enough God/coffee-mornings-when-I-wasn't-sleeping-in, and I'm plain lazy. :-)One point the authors kept coming back to again and again was the importance of women. The God-created dire need in a man's life for a woman... Let me quote some from "Captivating;"
...She has a vital role to play; she is a partner in this great adventure. All that human beings were intended to do here on earth--all the creativity and exploration, all the battle and rescue and nurture--we were intended to do together. In fact, not only is Eve needed, but she is desperately needed.
When God creates Eve, he calls her an ezer kenegdo. "It is not good for the man to be alone, I shall make him [an ezer kenegdo]" (Gen 2:18, Alter). Hebrew Scholar Robert Alter, who has spent years translating the book of Genesis, says that this phrase is "notoriously difficult to translate." The various attempts we have in English are "helper" or "companion" or the notorious "help meet." Why are these translations so incredibly wimpy, boring, flat... disappointing? What is a help meet anyway? What little girl dances through the house singing "One day I shall be a help meet?" Companion? A dog can be a companion. Helper? Sounds like Hamburger Helper. Alter is getting close when he translates it "sustainer beside him."
The word ezer is used only twenty other places in the entire Old Testament. [for a complete list click here]And in every other instance the person being described is God himself, when you need him to come through for you desperately.
"There is no one like the God of Jerusalem, who rides on the heavens to help you..."
"May the LORD answer you when you are in distress, may the name of the God of Jacob protect you. May he send you help." (Ps 20:1-2)
Most of the contexts are life and death, by the way, and God is your only hope. Your ezer. If he is not there beside you... you are dead. A better translation therefore of ezer would be "lifesaver." Kenegdo means alongside, or opposite to, a counterpart.
You see, the life God calls us to is not a safe life... God calls us to a life involving frequent risks and many dangers. Why else would we need him to be our ezer? You don't need a lifesaver if your missions is to be a couch potato. You need an ezer when your life is in constant danger...
That longing in the heart of a woman to share life together as a great adventure--that comes straight from the heart of God, who also longs for this. he does not want to be an option in our lives. He does not want to be an appendage, a tagalong. Neither does any woman. God is essential. He wants us to need him--desperately. Eve is essential. She has an irreplaceable role to play. And so you'll see that women are endowed with fierce devotion, an ability to suffer great hardships, a vision to make the world a better place. (From Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul by John and Stacy Eldredge, pages 31-33)
See, I react when people say that as women, all we are to do is to "help our husbands." But they don't have any specifics--any particular ways their husbands need help. They often view themselves as extensions of their husbands, seeing the world through his eyes and helping him live out his dreams. And I think those women are missing out on what we are called to do.We were NOT created to be just accessories. We are needed. Those who are married are desperatley needed by their husbands; those of us who are single may discover a man's need once they have begun a relationship. If a husband could do everything he's supposed to without any help or anyone alongside him, then God would not have created an ezer kenegdo for him. There would be no need for a wife, she would be just an extra.
I can't count the number of times that older women have told me that I'm supposed to prepare to be his "help meet." But what on earth does that look like? If my man desperately needs me then I must be able to stand beside him and lift up his hands (Exodus 17:12), help complete his work (Nehemiah 3:12), and remind him of God's dreams for our little family.
My dad's been amazing to teach me a lot of stuff that I didn't think I'll ever really need to know... but he's training me to be able to come alongside and be an ezer kenegdo. More than changing a tire, balancing a checkbook, or hanging wallpaper, he's taught (and is still teaching) me how to help people with their personal growth, be a leader that people want to follow, develop a business plan, pursue wise money management and investing principles, stay under the authority of a person I don't agree with or sometimes even respect, recognize my own personality strengths and spiritual gifts and build a team around me to accomplish a common goal, and do what I know is right--even when no one else understands, let alone agrees.
We are to be more than companions--companionship can be bought. We are to be more than buddies--that's seen often enough when the guys get together for Monday night football or a cookout. We are to be more than a soft, feminine addition to his life--beauty fades so fast. We are to be more than confidants--the is best seen in a close "band of brothers" we pray he already has. We are to be more than helpers--he can hire an accountant, a baby sitter, a cook, a maid, a chauffeur... we are more than an extra set of hands... we are to be his "sustainer beside him."
What are you doing right now to become a sustainer? Who are you sustaining right now? It won't magically start once you've said "I do." Are you sustaining friends in prayer? Are you sustaining your mother with her full workload at home or your father at work? What can you do to lift up the hands of someone in need, be there in the nick of time, and--in a sense--allow them to realize, "What on earth did I do without her before?" THAT woman is an ezer kenegdo.
Friday, June 18, 2010
Relationships Part 1
God's been teaching me a lot about relationships recently, and it seems like He has more up His sleeve to teach me. I'm learning what godly relationships look like and what they should look like (which are often two different things), how a single girl's supposed to live when she's getting the "Wait" from God, and doing some internal reflection and realignment with the Bible.
I'm reading several good books right now and some of what I'll blog about will come from there. I've found some of these books from Amazon.com suggestions, borrowing from friends, friends' mother's recommendations, and conversations with girls in the same stage in life.
So, anyway, that's an intro to these next couple blog posts. Remember, this is what God is teaching me and what I am seeking to do with my relationships, not hard and fast rules for myself or anyone else! I am always open for questions, challenges, and thoughtful advice... :-)
