REBLOG: hello, life.

Sarah, an old friend I've reblogged from before, posted this today. Food for thought. How do you tell the difference between a growth spurt and a time of discouragement and struggle?

hello, life

Today I woke up to a friend's text message canceling early morning coffee, and thanked God for an extra hour to sleep. Today I gulped a cup of black coffee and then sipped a cup of black tea, and chose to linger long over the Bread of Life, the Word of God, savoring every ounce of life it would give me... read more

Holiness...

A few weeks ago I joined one of the women's Bible study groups at Grace. After hearing about The Amazing Collection for several weeks, I decided to buck up and do it. :) It's only a 10-minute drive to church for our hour and a half study on Wednesday evenings, I love the 11 other women in my Year One group, and I'm excited about going through the entire Bible in 3 years! One book a week is a pretty fast pace, but the daily homework and the teaching video we watch as a group help bring out just the highlights in each book.

This week was Leviticus. Yes, that long book of random laws, tons of blood, and weird sacrifices and feasts. I've read it twice before--as part of reading through the Bible in a year--but never stopped to really think what, if any, relevance it held for the modern Christian.

Then a quote in today's homework caught my attention. Maybe I'm sinking a little too far into the whole healthcare field! :) Read the bottom of page 38 from J.I. Packer's Rediscovering Holiness. (I love Google Books)



What do you think about Packer's statement? Do you think it's true?

"I Will Wait For You"

check.this.out.

REBLOG: "The Gospel of Busyness"

Today, a friend commented that I hardly ever just sit down and rest. To which I replied with a rather lengthy explanation that I do indeed rest, I'm just always doing something while I'm resting; I like to always be intentional about what I do and make sure that I'm doing something that is going to last beyond the next few minutes or hours. When I saw this post tonight, I started thinking...

"The Gospel of Busyness" from A Deeper Story
by MASON on AUGUST 11, 2011

“How have you been recently?”

“Oh not bad, I’m taking a few classes, working two jobs, volunteering at church, and on the side I’m writing a novel. Hardly sleep, and practically live on coffee, but it’s great. How about you?”

“Me? Just work I guess.”

“That must be nice – thinks: slacker.”

Ever had that conversation? I have, and I’ve variously found myself playing both roles over the years.

It’s an interesting phenomenon really, and you can see it played out on a smaller scale every Monday at work and every Sunday in church lobbies. People who haven’t seen each other in a few days or weeks meet, and the talk quickly becomes a recounting of how terribly busy we all are.

The sad thing is, we’re proud of it.

And not very secretly proud either.

Oh sure, we complain about how we haven’t had a real day off in weeks, or how much work it all is, but somehow all our complaining sounds rather like bragging.

It’s simply backhanded bragging, like complaining that you didn’t expect learning Spanish to be so much work after you got such high scores in French, German, and 5^th century Latin.

We’ve bought into the gospel of busyness. We’ve accepted the story we are constantly told – that our value rests in what we can produce, that we are loved for what we can accomplish.

So we push ourselves harder and harder. We sleep less, we work more, and we accomplish a great deal.

But in the process we begin to forget how to sit,

and think,

and breath,

and pray,

and read for pleasure,

and have a real conversation with a friend, or family member, or spouse.

and savor a drink for its flavors and complexities, not its ability to chemically induce either wakefulness or sleep.

Here’s the dirty little secret of the gospel of busyness. It promises us a full and satisfying life but, in the end, it makes our lives emptier. 

It uses us for what we can contribute, and in the process we live less, feel less, even love less.

But your value is not determined by what you produce. Your loveliness is not based on what you accomplish.

And the sooner we all realize that the sooner we can stop playing the game of bragging that we’re so very busy.

Even God thought balancing work with rest was worthwhile – perhaps we should give it a try.

"I didn't Know What I Needed"

Good stuff from Boundless:


Orignal post (Suzanne's side)
Original post #2 (Kevin's side)

New Wife and Mom Insight No. 4: I Didn't Know What I Needed

by Suzanne Hadley Gosselin on 06/20/2011 at 7:30 AM

This may be more of a girl thing, but have you ever said a sentence that begins: "I need someone who …"? Since high school I had an unwritten list like this.

"I need someone who makes me laugh."

"I need someone who I can have deep conversations with."

"I need someone who's a strong leader."

I suppose I was right about some of them. But I was wrong about others. One that you would hear me say again and again was, "I need someone who will draw me out and get me to talk about what I'm thinking."

I was absolutely convinced of this one. Often when I would meet a guy it would take me several interactions with him before I would really open up and be myself. Some guys who didn't really attempt to draw me out would never get a glimpse of who I was. If they did get to know me, they would often say that their first impression about me was false (and usually negative). So it made sense that my future mate would need to possess the ability to get me to open up. I told people often that this was the kind of guy I needed.

Well, you may have already guessed where this is going, but Kevin is not that kind of person. Not at all. He does make me laugh. I can have deep conversations with him. He is a strong leader. But he does not draw me out. (I touched on this in my post about conversational narcissism.)

Turns out I didn't need that … or at least God didn't think so. But there's something odd that has happened as a result of being married to a person who does not draw me out. I have learned to not keep my opinions and feelings under lock and key, waiting for the other person to fish for them. I've learned that sometimes I need to volunteer the information. I've discovered that perhaps my motive in desiring that the other person draw me out was pride--I believed I was important enough that someone should be interested in what I thought. Interested enough to coax it out of me.

My husband does work on asking me questions, because he knows it makes me feel cared for. But he is not the "spotlight-on-Suzanne" spouse that I once imagined. And that's a good thing. I didn't know what I needed.

And then there are things about him that I needed desperately but had no idea about. For example, he is never critical of my mistakes. Because I am very critical of my own mistakes, this is an affirming quality that helps me be my best. I am so thankful that my wise heavenly Father knew I needed this and gave it to me through Kevin.

If you are single and find yourself frequently saying, "I need someone who …", hold loosely to those things. You may need them, but you may not. Only God knows what you really need. And sometimes not getting what you think you need helps you grow into a better person. I love the verse that says, "And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:19). The One who knows what we need has the resources to provide it. And He does so generously.

New Wife and Mom Insight No. 4.5: Kevin Didn't Know What He Needed

by Suzanne Hadley Gosselin on 06/29/2011 at 3:34 PM

In my last post "I Didn't Know What I Needed," someone asked if I could get my husband, Kevin, to weigh in. I'm guessing the person who asked was female. Because when I asked Kevin if there was anything he thought he needed that I didn't fulfill, he seemed baffled by the question. "What do you mean?"

So I tried to explain it, and finally he thought of something. Kevin knew as a teen that he wanted to be a pastor, so this "need" is a bit specific to ministry life:

I thought I needed someone who was super-supportive. Suzanne is super-supportive, but not in the way I expected. To me "super-supportive" meant a stay-at-home wife who would take care of the kids, host dinner parties, show up at meetings. As I grew up spending time with different pastors, that's what I saw. To be effective, I thought I had to have a wife whose job was to be my right-hand man.

I thought I needed someone who was immersed in my calling. What I didn't realize was that my wife could be immersed in her calling and still supportive of mine. Growing up in a Christian home, you're told a wife should be submissive and she needs to be supportive. That's why career women can be scary, because they have their own agenda and own thing going on.

But we use Suzanne's talents and abilities in what I do, and we use my talents and abilities in what she does. It makes us more dynamic as a couple because we utilize each other's skills. We're like a dynamic duo — like Batman and Robin rather than Batman with Alfred back at home (I think guys will get that analogy).

When I asked him if there was anything that he didn't know he needed that I brought to the table, he talked about encouragement:

Encourager was never on my top 10 list. I'm someone who when I get into a project I'll go full force, but sometimes I need someone to help me get started. I need someone to say "You can do it," to get going. Suzanne has that quality.

And I wouldn't have said I needed someone who was willing to point things out — the good the bad and the ugly. That's something most people say they appreciate in their spouse after marriage, but it's not something they think about needing prior to marriage. But it really helps you grow as a person.

So there you have it. A guy's perspective. It seems in Kevin's case, he didn't ever think in terms of, "I need someone who ... " The things he believed he needed arose more in the form of expectations (maybe that he didn't even know existed) of what his future wife would be like. Because his mom is a gifted homemaker, he pictured being married to that kind of woman. Because many pastors' wives function in behind-the-scenes support roles, he imagined his wife would probably be this way. Clearly, we are thankful that God had something else in mind. As Kevin said, we are a dynamic couple, and it's exciting to see the things the Lord has planned for us to do together.

So guys ... any thoughts on expectations? The Batman and Robin analogy? Career women being scary because they have their own thing going? The floor is yours. (Comments from women welcome, also.)

What have you been telling the Lord you think need in a future spouse? What would you say if He instead gave you what He knows you need?

REBLOG: Sex, Faith & Men: What I Never Knew About Dating.

She's got some good stuff to say...

Sex, Faith & Men: What I Never Knew About Dating.

by laurennicolelove.com

"Why don't you date him? He's a good guy."

"Just give him a chance. You never know unless you take the risk."

"Go on a few dates. Just because he isn't a Christian doesn't mean he will be a bad boyfriend."

"God can change people. Maybe he's the one. You can make it work.”

"We're just hanging out, it's not serious. It won't go anywhere."

"You're not deciding to marry him right this second. Just see how it goes."

I remember being a freshman in high school and believing heart and soul that I would never date a "non-believer," much less ever have sex with one. Fast-forward five or six years, and I've dated a couple. Fast-forward another year or two, and I'm sleeping with one that I'm not even dating.

No girl wakes up and says to herself, "I'm gonna fall head over heels in love with a man I'd never marry today" or decides over lunch that sex is just sex is just sex, and none of it is a big deal anyway. I didn't. And you probably didn't, but both of those things happen to us.

“Your first perfect Christian boyfriend broke your heart. You weren't supposed to mess around with him, but you did anyway. Now you might as well mess around with the next one. You've been perfect your whole life. You deserve to have some innocent fun. It's just going out for a drink - that isn't committing to a relationship. Cuddling as 'friends' isn't wrong. Marriage is like, a decade away. What are you supposed to do for ten years - be bored? Everyone has sex before marriage. And everyone ends up with a husband and happy in the end. You need to experience everything before you settle down and only have sex with one man for the freaking rest of your whole entire life.” 

I don't know how it happened to you, but that's a glimpse of what happened to me. And I was the girl with the best intentions, the highest standards, and the most reasonable head on my shoulders. Maybe you got there a little differently, but it ended us both in the same place.

Why did it happen? Because we're human. Because life happens. Because we get hurt. Because we're built for relationships, but we're born broken.

And because too often as Christian girls, we are given the rules with no explanations. We're told the No's without the Yes's. We're given the worst-case scenarios without a picture of the amazing fun-filled, purpose-filled, hot sex & crazy love filled marriage that we were created for.

As Christian girls, we're told that sex gets us pregnant, ruins sex with our future husband & is SIN SIN SIN. The church has steered us away from sex by way of guilt, shame & fear. The problem with motivating by guilt & fear (instead of truth & life) is that the moment another area of our life collapses (which it will), we give up on everything. Because sin is sin is sin, right?

We say, "What the hell." And we give up a little, settle a little, stop caring a little.

This is what I didn't know about relationships. About men. About myself. About sex. About dating. About marriage. About life.

This is what I didn't know, that had I known, I might not have become addicted to things that slowly began to destroy me.

This is what I half-knew, that I pushed to the back of my mind and heart, believing that I couldn't have or couldn't find.

This is why you can't date a man who doesn't love Jesus, if you have given your life to the God who created, treasures and adores you.

- Because Love isn't enough to get you through anything. You have to respect him, too. There is something in the heart of a woman who loves Jesus that knows she can't fully respect a man who doesn't have God as his number one priority. If you don't respect him as a man, get out. If you question it now, you can expect it to be wholly sabotaged when things get rough. A man knows when you don't respect him, and there are few things more dangerous, problem-causing & explosive than a man without respect.

- When we evaluate relationships, we forget to set the stage at its worst - we just set it for now.Last week, my man hit rock bottom. As the woman who is promising to love & support him (and invest my entire life in him) no matter what, I HAVE to know that God loves, protects, will provide for, and will strengthen this man in my arms. If a man doesn't love God with his whole heart, I can't be assured that what I'm comforting him with is going to be delivered. I can't have faith in a man who doesn't have faith. I can't strengthen the faith of a man who doesn't have any to begin with. 

- If you are a woman who loves Jesus, a man who doesn't love Jesus doesn't know who you truly are. Your identity is defined by God. You're lying to yourself if you think that your relationship with Jesus can remain in a box, outside of your romantic relationship. For a while, I told myself that if he understood every part of me except for the God part - that was okay. When you are created a new creation in Christ, ALL of you is "the God part." No part of you is untouched by your love for Jesus. And your man does not see that you - he sees a different woman. 

- You need an anchor. One day you're going to fall apart. And you're going to need him to come to your rescue by way of God, not by himself. God is our rock, and our foundation. Max cannot be my savior. I cannot be his. And both of us need one. If you date a man who doesn't know his Savior, you are forced to fulfill that role, which as a human being, you cannot. And he will try to be your savior. And he can not.Everything will be okay because you believe in God, not because your boyfriend “believes in you.” 

- When you've made the decision to follow Jesus, your perception of everything becomes wildly changed. Lifelong friendships are built not on similar interests, but on similar views of the world. Marriages are no different. It is said that marriages do not fail for lack of love, but lack of friendship. You're choosing a partner to take on the world with together for the rest of your life. You can't make it through the battle if he's seeing differently than you are. And you can't live with someone you wouldn't be friends with in the first place.

- He can't love you to the best of his ability if he doesn't love Jesus. I'm talking about the kind of love you need to survive a marriage. The love that lasts a lifetime. The lay-down-your-life-for-someone-kind-of-love. The world's definition is but a pale imitation of love. If you want to truly be loved by a man, you need to find one who has experienced unconditional, sacrificial love as is defined by God, the author of it.God created marriage as an image of Jesus' relationship with the church, and Jesus laid down his life out of love for his bride.

- You can't marry them, so why date them? Let's say you've already decided you won't marry a non-Christian - but what's wrong with "just" dating them? Your body is designed to bond utterly & completely with someone, through the release of dopamine & oxytocin. Dopamine is the chemical that drives you back to pleasurable things. In its most innocent form, it teaches a small child that puppies are awesome. In its most powerful form, it creates a natural addiction to the person you are physically involved with. You were created to be addicted to someone for the rest of your life. The addiction starts the moment dopamine is triggered and begins to flood your brain. The question is: are you created an addiction to something healthy, or unhealthy? (When Oxytocin is triggered, it teaches your mind to trust, and reduces fear. Consider the repercussions of programming your body to trust someone you know you shouldn't, and to be safe around someone you plan to break up with.)
It hurts. It's hard. You love him.

I'm not telling you to leave him because you're sinning, I'm telling you to go get addicted to a man you want in your life forever. 

Read this...

The Economy of Words from A Deeper Story

stop looking...

What do you think?

I *love* how people say that the moment they stopped killing themselves to get good grades, God blessed them with all As. Or the moment they stopped worrying about getting a job after graduation, God provided a perfect opportunity. Or--my favorite-- the moment they stopped looking for a guy, wishing for a relationship, or planning out their future, God brought along a wonderful young man.

Ok, that's all well and good. But as we all know, correlation DOES NOT equal causation.

Obviously, God will not be treated like a vending machine; I do X, and He WILL do Y.

Ok maybe some people stop looking and stop worrying is because they have better things to do, they realize it's futile to worry over stuff outside their control, and because they remember the world WILL go on even if they don't get that grade, that job, or that guy. And so when that magical thing does happen, they think, "well, I stopped worrying and look what God did!"

Um, maybe I'm gonna stop looking and worrying because I'm too tired to. If His wants to give me a 4.0 summer, a good job after graduation, or bring that guy along sometime soon, that'd be wonderful. But I don't want to look back and see that MY actions persuaded God to give me what I want.

Fearfully and wonderfully made...

Sorry for the long absence, people. Physical therapy school started on May 23rd and this week is test week. OK, I should probably be reviewing for anatomy lab tomorrow. But idc anymore.

I've always been good at procrastinating. Senior year especially. Between watching all 7 seasons of Gilmore girls in less than a semester, scrolling through thousands of posts on the over 90 blogs I follow, and hanging out with my close circle of friends I somehow still made good grades.

Procrastination has taken a different form these last four weeks. It looks like making dinner/lunch the next day, doing laundry on Wednesday nights (when you bring scrubs home that smell like a dead person, you HAVE to do laundry THAT day!), late-night phone calls from friends, driving all over creation to get to Walmart ("You can get anything you want here//Except a Wal-Mart store//But I ain't in Checotah anymore"), and printing off stuff to study.

I love Starbucks. I mean, I doubt I've ever told anyone that before. (OK, maybe only every other day or so!) And I'm kind of picky about my Starbuckses. Thankfully, a college friend is working at one across from the SMU campus about 10 minutes away from my apartment, and that Starbucks has a massive table in the back that's almost always empty. Once schools starts up in the Fall, I think I'm gonna have to find a new home. :P

So I've been at said Starbucks 4 times in the past week. A physiology test, an anatomy test, a lab practical, and a clinical correlates test will do that to you! Saturday, I occupied said massive table for 6 hours. Sunday I "hermited" myself at said table for 5 hours. When my friend got off work he came over and asked if I had dinner plans. I went over to his grandparents' house for steak (I love crashing other people's Father's Day celebrations), and then we went to go see "Green Lantern".

You know you've spent too much time studying the muscles of the neck, back, and upper extremity when you see the epic superhero suit designed to resemble said superhero's bulging musculature and all you can think is "they got the deltoid right, but the triceps actually has three heads not one!"

You know you've hung out with your 25 favorite dead people too much when this no longer creeps you out:

You know you've been memorizing too many muscle AOIIs (Actions, Origins, Insertions, and Innervations) when you start dreaming of them! (And as some of you may know, I DO NOT dream. Like maybe once ever six months.)

But I have to say that this past week that I have a greater appreciation for "The Celestial Design Committee," as one of my anatomy professors calls Him.

Have you ever read Psalm 139? Like REALLY read it? I mean, seriously how can you not think that we are fearfully and wonderfully made when you see this:

That, dear reader, is your brachial plexus. The wonderful branching and re-branching of arteries, veins, and nerves responsible for movements in your fingers, thumbs, wrists, elbows, forearms, upper arms, shoulders, and some scapular movements... Every cadaver has a slightly different network of these structures (I hate the term "anatomical variation"), but we've all got 'em! 

The Psalmist said it this way:

^"6Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it....

¹³For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother's womb.

 ¹⁴I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.

 ¹⁵My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.

 ¹⁶Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them."

I'd say it like this: 

Dang, God... that's pretty legit.

please pray

Please remember my friend Jessie who just lost her dad this afternoon...

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Psalm 31

I just needed to re-read this tonight... I think my Bible just flips open to this Psalm, I've read it so much...

Psalm 31-A David Psalm (The Message)

 ^1-2I run to You, God; I run for dear life. Don't let me down! 
      Take me seriously this time! 
   Get down on my level and listen, 
      and please—no procrastination! 
   Your granite cave a hiding place, 
      Your high cliff aerie a place of safety. 

 ^3-5 You're my cave to hide in, 
      my cliff to climb. 
   Be my safe leader, 
      be my true mountain guide. 
   Free me from hidden traps; 
      I want to hide in You. 
   I've put my life in Your hands. 
      You won't drop me, 
      You'll never let me down. 

 ^6-13 I hate all this silly religion, 
      but You, God, I trust. 
   I'm leaping and singing in the circle of Your love; 
      You saw my pain, 
      You disarmed my tormentors, 
   You didn't leave me in their clutches 
      but gave me room to breathe. 
   Be kind to me, God— 
      I'm in deep, deep trouble again. 
   I've cried my eyes out; 
      I feel hollow inside. 
   My life leaks away, groan by groan; 
      my years fade out in sighs. 
   My troubles have worn me out, 
      turned my bones to powder. 
   To my enemies I'm a monster; 
      I'm ridiculed by the neighbors. 
   My friends are horrified; 
      they cross the street to avoid me. 
   They want to blot me from memory, 
      forget me like a corpse in a grave, 
      discard me like a broken dish in the trash. 
   The street-talk gossip has me 
      "criminally insane"! 
   Behind locked doors they plot 
      how to ruin me for good. 

 ^14-18 Desperate, I throw myself on You: 
      You are my God! 
   Hour by hour I place my days in Your hand, 
      safe from the hands out to get me. 
   Warm me, Your servant, with a smile; 
      save me because You love me. 
   Don't embarrass me by not showing up;
      I've given You plenty of notice. 
   Embarrass the wicked, stand them up, 
      leave them stupidly shaking their heads 
      as they drift down to hell. 
   Gag those loudmouthed liars 
      who heckle me, Your follower, 
      with jeers and catcalls. 

 ^19-22 What a stack of blessing You have piled up 
      for those who worship You, 
   Ready and waiting for all who run to You 
      to escape an unkind world. 
   You hide them safely away 
      from the opposition. 
   As You slam the door on those oily, mocking faces, 
      You silence the poisonous gossip. 
   Blessed God! 
      His love is the wonder of the world. 
   Trapped by a siege, I panicked. 
      "Out of sight, out of mind," I said. 
   But You heard me say it, 
      You heard and listened. 

 ²³ Love God, all You saints; 
      God takes care of all who stay close to Him, 
   But he pays back in full 
      those arrogant enough to go it alone. 

 ²⁴ Be brave. Be strong. Don't give up. 
      Expect God to get here soon.