From The Rules of Ladies

"I Will Wait For You"

check.this.out.

REBLOG: Sex, Faith & Men: What I Never Knew About Dating.

She's got some good stuff to say...

Sex, Faith & Men: What I Never Knew About Dating.

by laurennicolelove.com

"Why don't you date him? He's a good guy."

"Just give him a chance. You never know unless you take the risk."

"Go on a few dates. Just because he isn't a Christian doesn't mean he will be a bad boyfriend."

"God can change people. Maybe he's the one. You can make it work.”

"We're just hanging out, it's not serious. It won't go anywhere."

"You're not deciding to marry him right this second. Just see how it goes."

I remember being a freshman in high school and believing heart and soul that I would never date a "non-believer," much less ever have sex with one. Fast-forward five or six years, and I've dated a couple. Fast-forward another year or two, and I'm sleeping with one that I'm not even dating.

No girl wakes up and says to herself, "I'm gonna fall head over heels in love with a man I'd never marry today" or decides over lunch that sex is just sex is just sex, and none of it is a big deal anyway. I didn't. And you probably didn't, but both of those things happen to us.

“Your first perfect Christian boyfriend broke your heart. You weren't supposed to mess around with him, but you did anyway. Now you might as well mess around with the next one. You've been perfect your whole life. You deserve to have some innocent fun. It's just going out for a drink - that isn't committing to a relationship. Cuddling as 'friends' isn't wrong. Marriage is like, a decade away. What are you supposed to do for ten years - be bored? Everyone has sex before marriage. And everyone ends up with a husband and happy in the end. You need to experience everything before you settle down and only have sex with one man for the freaking rest of your whole entire life.” 

I don't know how it happened to you, but that's a glimpse of what happened to me. And I was the girl with the best intentions, the highest standards, and the most reasonable head on my shoulders. Maybe you got there a little differently, but it ended us both in the same place.

Why did it happen? Because we're human. Because life happens. Because we get hurt. Because we're built for relationships, but we're born broken.

And because too often as Christian girls, we are given the rules with no explanations. We're told the No's without the Yes's. We're given the worst-case scenarios without a picture of the amazing fun-filled, purpose-filled, hot sex & crazy love filled marriage that we were created for.

As Christian girls, we're told that sex gets us pregnant, ruins sex with our future husband & is SIN SIN SIN. The church has steered us away from sex by way of guilt, shame & fear. The problem with motivating by guilt & fear (instead of truth & life) is that the moment another area of our life collapses (which it will), we give up on everything. Because sin is sin is sin, right?

We say, "What the hell." And we give up a little, settle a little, stop caring a little.

This is what I didn't know about relationships. About men. About myself. About sex. About dating. About marriage. About life.

This is what I didn't know, that had I known, I might not have become addicted to things that slowly began to destroy me.

This is what I half-knew, that I pushed to the back of my mind and heart, believing that I couldn't have or couldn't find.

This is why you can't date a man who doesn't love Jesus, if you have given your life to the God who created, treasures and adores you.

- Because Love isn't enough to get you through anything. You have to respect him, too. There is something in the heart of a woman who loves Jesus that knows she can't fully respect a man who doesn't have God as his number one priority. If you don't respect him as a man, get out. If you question it now, you can expect it to be wholly sabotaged when things get rough. A man knows when you don't respect him, and there are few things more dangerous, problem-causing & explosive than a man without respect.

- When we evaluate relationships, we forget to set the stage at its worst - we just set it for now.Last week, my man hit rock bottom. As the woman who is promising to love & support him (and invest my entire life in him) no matter what, I HAVE to know that God loves, protects, will provide for, and will strengthen this man in my arms. If a man doesn't love God with his whole heart, I can't be assured that what I'm comforting him with is going to be delivered. I can't have faith in a man who doesn't have faith. I can't strengthen the faith of a man who doesn't have any to begin with. 

- If you are a woman who loves Jesus, a man who doesn't love Jesus doesn't know who you truly are. Your identity is defined by God. You're lying to yourself if you think that your relationship with Jesus can remain in a box, outside of your romantic relationship. For a while, I told myself that if he understood every part of me except for the God part - that was okay. When you are created a new creation in Christ, ALL of you is "the God part." No part of you is untouched by your love for Jesus. And your man does not see that you - he sees a different woman. 

- You need an anchor. One day you're going to fall apart. And you're going to need him to come to your rescue by way of God, not by himself. God is our rock, and our foundation. Max cannot be my savior. I cannot be his. And both of us need one. If you date a man who doesn't know his Savior, you are forced to fulfill that role, which as a human being, you cannot. And he will try to be your savior. And he can not.Everything will be okay because you believe in God, not because your boyfriend “believes in you.” 

- When you've made the decision to follow Jesus, your perception of everything becomes wildly changed. Lifelong friendships are built not on similar interests, but on similar views of the world. Marriages are no different. It is said that marriages do not fail for lack of love, but lack of friendship. You're choosing a partner to take on the world with together for the rest of your life. You can't make it through the battle if he's seeing differently than you are. And you can't live with someone you wouldn't be friends with in the first place.

- He can't love you to the best of his ability if he doesn't love Jesus. I'm talking about the kind of love you need to survive a marriage. The love that lasts a lifetime. The lay-down-your-life-for-someone-kind-of-love. The world's definition is but a pale imitation of love. If you want to truly be loved by a man, you need to find one who has experienced unconditional, sacrificial love as is defined by God, the author of it.God created marriage as an image of Jesus' relationship with the church, and Jesus laid down his life out of love for his bride.

- You can't marry them, so why date them? Let's say you've already decided you won't marry a non-Christian - but what's wrong with "just" dating them? Your body is designed to bond utterly & completely with someone, through the release of dopamine & oxytocin. Dopamine is the chemical that drives you back to pleasurable things. In its most innocent form, it teaches a small child that puppies are awesome. In its most powerful form, it creates a natural addiction to the person you are physically involved with. You were created to be addicted to someone for the rest of your life. The addiction starts the moment dopamine is triggered and begins to flood your brain. The question is: are you created an addiction to something healthy, or unhealthy? (When Oxytocin is triggered, it teaches your mind to trust, and reduces fear. Consider the repercussions of programming your body to trust someone you know you shouldn't, and to be safe around someone you plan to break up with.)
It hurts. It's hard. You love him.

I'm not telling you to leave him because you're sinning, I'm telling you to go get addicted to a man you want in your life forever. 

We do love.

This IS going on the wall in my home:

from lovequotesrus

Starbucks proposal...

I came across this on a friend's Facebook wall... it's just too good to not share!

Original story here

A Starbucks Proposal Story

THURSDAY, JUNE, 23, 2011 40 COMMENTS

I love a good proposal story, who doesn’t?! Today, I’m sharing two super creative proposals. The first is the proposal of Mikaela and Shane. Their first date was at a Starbucks, so Shane decided to build a Starbucks in the woods - seriously! Wait until you see it! :) Shane told Mikaela (who is a photographer) that they were going on a photo field trip to this great place he discovered, well he led her to a clearing in the woods and had Mikaela close her eyes. The moment she opened her eyes, she saw this…

From Mikaela, “The moment I was allowed to open my eyes is a moment that will be burned into my memory forever. It was the most peculiar feeling to see something so unexpected, so creatively carried out, something that took weeks and hours to plan, for me. For this moment. For us. Surreal.

Starbucks in the woods. Our Starbucks, our first date in those two comfy chairs, with our same two drinks – a passion tea lemonade and a green tea lemonade, and that fruit bar Shane had as well. A homemade candle in a Starbucks sample cup flickered, the prettiest bouquet of pink peonies, and music playing in the background. We sat, me in stunned silence and broken sentences. Knowing what would most likely come next, but not daring to think it, at the same time. Derrick ran by in the corner of my eye, leaving behind a video camera, while I caught someone taking photos in the bushes! Another video camera on a table! Crap, why didn’t I wear my contacts tonight, why the glasses? And off they came :) Then Shane pulled out a ring box and said those words and it happened.

‘Ever since our first date I knew you were the one… I fall more and more in love with you each day… Mikaela Ruth, will you marry me?’

He says there was a pause before I said yes! Of course! And then I dropped to the ground to be close to him and to hug him and he slipped the ring on to my finger.”

Check out all the details Shane put into the proposal…Love the wifey instead of Wi-Fi :) And the free download cards!

Any aspect that could possibly be personalized, he was on it…

They went to a Jack Johnson concert last Fall and notice the ‘Congratulations’ card? Details, details!

Close friends and family began to trickle in and Shane snuck away to change into a Starbucks barista uniform – and it was a party! How special that they were able to celebrate with everyone!

Biggest congrats to Mikaela + Shane!! All photos from Mikaela

Watch this video...

OK, so I have no idea who this guy is, but I found this video shared on my friend's Facebook profile.

This guy has a lot of incredible things to say. Just give it a listen. Please.

I wish I had the courage to say what he does. He wrote this for an open mic night at Pacific University, then obviously recorded it on a busy street in the not-so-good part of town with everyday people walking by... and yet I can't say anything to my close friends, classmates, and lab partners...



(discretion advised, he talks pretty openly)

What makes your heart go "pitter patter"...

lub dub

lub dub

lub dub

lub dub lub dub

lub dub lub dub

lub dub lub dub

lub dub lub dub

lub dub lub dub lub dub lub dub

lubdub lubdib lubdub lubdub lubdub lubdub lubdub

Ok, so I kind of like heartbeats. Like a lot. I always loved the EKG labs we did in freshman bio and in A&P II, especially when we got to tickle the experiment subject, make a loud noise and scare him, or have him breathe super quickly. It would have sounded something like this:

Your heartbeat is an interesting indicator of what gets you--what makes you tick, what makes you smile, what makes you angry...

what makes your heart go pitter-patter.

If Jesus were to lay His head on your chest, what would He hear? Would He be pleased? 

.

Before I Met You...

Road trips are great. Road trips listening to 90s pop music is even better. Thank God for Pandora and a car full of girls who either sang along or fell asleep to Jump5, Hilary Duff, and the Backstreet Boys!

And then this lovely song:



As I continued singing in the shower that night, I couldn't help but think of Proverbs 31:12

"She does him good and not evil all the days of her life."

We always think about loving our husbands after we marry them... but if the Proverbs 31 woman loved her man all the days of her life, she must have loved him before she knew him...

and I'm on the quest to find out what that means.

Mugs and more...

Can I say that I am "in love" with these mugs...

Or this one that I got as a birthday gift from my friend Heidi...

Holding on...

from loveishuman via lovequotesrus

What are you holding onto? Are you afraid to give it up for fear that what you've had is the best you'll ever have?

This is for you...

This is for you, ____. You know who you are.

from lovequotesrus

from serenity

Ready... or lonely?

(from satelliteofyou.tumblr.com)

I think I've said something similar to this to at least three different girls in the last two days.

What is it with being lonely and automatically assuming that falling in love will solve that loneliness? Yes, being lonely sucks.

But why, oh why do we girls force ourselves to find a guy, force ourselves to wonder if he could be the guy, and force ourselves to be overly excited about something so simple as saying hi to a nice guy in class? Why do we do this to ourselves instead of waiting for our heart to be ready. Instead of waiting for life to be ready. Instead of waiting for him to be ready. Instead of waiting for God's path to be ready. Why do we force it?

Here are some of my loneliness busters... I'm the type of person to--instead of focusing on me--find ways to work with others. Which is all well and good until I realize that I have just been making busyness a loneliness buster in and of itself... and who needs to be even more busy?

I love my espresso maker--foamed milk is the best.
I love falling asleep in the sun--catching the last rays of warm summer.
I love journaling--being forced to come up with words and attempting to lay events out in a sensible manner helps things make sense.
I love working out--hearing your headbeat in your head makes it hard to focus on anything else.
I love girlie movies--anything from Twilight to Pride & Prejudice.
I love blood-n-guts war movies--it's hard not to laugh at the gratuitous amount of fake blood and incorrectly treated injuries.
I love my laptop--some would argue I love it too much.
I love quietness--gives my mind a chance to actually stop and sit still.
I love my Bible--underlined and highlighted in so strange a manner that no one else could decipher the system, but it's worth the world to me.

What does your heart do when it's lonely?

Relationships Part 3 - Emotional Purity

Over the last two weeks I've been reading "Emotional Purity: An Affair of the Heart" by Heather Paulsen. I opened the book with a bit of trepidation, but as it was highly recommended, I decided to give it a shot... and I soon found myself underlining passages here and there. I'd recommend it as a wonderful quick read (it's only 153 pages long) that will give you a lot to think about and cause you to view guy/girl interactions in a new light.

She starts out with a fictional couple's story--how it started out so well and began quite harmlessly between two Christian friends, yet ended in real pain to both parties--and ties all of the book chapters back to that story. When I read the story again after reading the book I saw red flags all throughout the relationship--many of them red flags I hadn't seen the first time.

Here are some of my favorite phrases and quotes that just got me thinking...

"Keep in mind that God created marriage to be an example of the relationship between Christ, the Bridegroom, and the church, His bride. God wants the relationship between a husband and wife to mirror the relationship between Christ and the church: Since marriage begins at the commitment level, we need to line up friendship, dating, courtship, engagement, and marriage with God's depiction. Why should our path toward earthly marriage look or act differently? Our path should be commitment then intimacy." (page 58)


"Many of you would say that friendship is important in marriage, and I would wholeheartedly agree, but are you an intimate friend with Christ before you make a commitment? No! You grow into a deeply intimate friendship with Christ after you make a commitment. Why do we allow ourselves to think that God would be pleased with dating, friendship, courtships, or marriages here on earth that look different than His design for our walk with Him?" (page 61-62)


"Only after we enter into a lifelong commitment with God may we come into the Most Holy Place of intimacy with Him. Step one: a lifelong commitment. Step two: intimacy. It is impossible to love Him before step one, and He does not let us get to know Him personally before the commitment." (page 63)

"Commitment equals protection." (page 64)


"The need for a marriage partner is gone when emotions are freely bestowed on anyone who comes along. I hope my future husband will be starving for female attention. If other girlfriends have filled in my place, my husband won't be longing for me. But if he waits until God introduces us, he will be lonely for female attention and companionship and will appreciate me a great deal more." (page 65)

"Do you fear being single the rest of your life? Or do you fear being in a marriage not ordained by God?" (page 73)

"Next to salvation, your choice of a mate is the biggest decision of your life. God is not going to leave you hanging." (page 80)

"[Tracy] opened up to Mike (two characters is the fictional account she opens the book with) beyond her comfort level in hopes of being more attractive to him, thereby putting her timing above God's timing." (page 86)

She also quoted from a TV show where Dr. Laura Schlessinger was a special guest on the topic of marital affairs and couples who had emotional relationships with others besides their partners. Dr. Laura summarized her feelings on the matter this way:
"Intimacy is not just about physical encounters. When someone shares feelings, secrets, desires, flirts or flatters, or even places himself or herself in a compromising situation, you are being intimate. The final analysis: all forms of intimacy should be reserved for the marital relationship or else you are taking something away. Something that belongs to the spouse and giving it away to someone else. That wasn't what the vows were about.
The ultimate deterrent to all of this is a strong set of moral values, rules, and standards. These keep you from even taking the first step. Because, for sure if you don't take that first step, then you won't be there to take that final fatal step." (page 137)

Wait

Wait - by Russell Kelfer


Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, "Wait."

"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.


"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.


"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."


Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"


He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.


"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.


"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.


"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.


"The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.


"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you.

"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait."

Relationships Part 2 - "Ezer"

I just finished "Captivating" the day before I left for Africa. It's taken me since last November to get through... partly because the guided journal chapters are so long, I never seemed to have enough God/coffee-mornings-when-I-wasn't-sleeping-in, and I'm plain lazy. :-)

One point the authors kept coming back to again and again was the importance of women. The God-created dire need in a man's life for a woman...  Let me quote some from "Captivating;"

...She has a vital role to play; she is a partner in this great adventure. All that human beings were intended to do here on earth--all the creativity and exploration, all the battle and rescue and nurture--we were intended to do together. In fact, not only is Eve needed, but she is desperately needed.

When God creates Eve, he calls her an ezer kenegdo. "It is not good for the man to be alone, I shall make him [an ezer kenegdo]" (Gen 2:18, Alter). Hebrew Scholar Robert Alter, who has spent years translating the book of Genesis, says that this phrase is "notoriously difficult to translate." The various attempts we have in English are "helper" or "companion" or the notorious "help meet." Why are these translations so incredibly wimpy, boring, flat... disappointing? What is a help meet anyway? What little girl dances through the house singing "One day I shall be a help meet?" Companion? A dog can be a companion. Helper? Sounds like Hamburger Helper. Alter is getting close when he translates it "sustainer beside him."

The word ezer is used only twenty other places in the entire Old Testament. [for a complete list click here]And in every other instance the person being described is God himself, when you need him to come through for you desperately. 

"There is no one like the God of Jerusalem, who rides on the heavens to help you..."

"May the LORD answer you when you are in distress, may the name of the God of Jacob protect you. May he send you help." (Ps 20:1-2) 

Most of the contexts are life and death, by the way, and God is your only hope. Your ezer. If he is not there beside you... you are dead. A better translation therefore of ezer would be "lifesaver." Kenegdo means alongside, or opposite to, a counterpart. 

You see, the life God calls us to is not a safe life... God calls us to a life involving frequent risks and many dangers. Why else would we need him to be our ezer? You don't need a lifesaver if your missions is to be a couch potato. You need an ezer when your life is in constant danger...

That longing in the heart of a woman to share life together as a great adventure--that comes straight from the heart of God, who also longs for this. he does not want to be an option in our lives. He does not want to be an appendage, a tagalong. Neither does any woman. God is essential. He wants us to need him--desperately. Eve is essential. She has an irreplaceable role to play. And so you'll see that women are endowed with fierce devotion, an ability to suffer great hardships, a vision to make the world a better place. (From Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul by John and Stacy Eldredge, pages 31-33)

See, I react when people say that as women, all we are to do is to "help our husbands." But they don't have any specifics--any particular ways their husbands need help. They often view themselves as extensions of their husbands, seeing the world through his eyes and helping him live out his dreams. And I think those women are missing out on what we are called to do.

We were NOT created to be just accessories. We are needed. Those who are married are desperatley needed by their husbands; those of us who are single may discover a man's need once they have begun a relationship. If a husband could do everything he's supposed to without any help or anyone alongside him, then God would not have created an ezer kenegdo for him. There would be no need for a wife, she would be just an extra.

I can't count the number of times that older women have told me that I'm supposed to prepare to be his "help meet." But what on earth does that look like? If my man desperately needs me then I must be able to stand beside him and lift up his hands (Exodus 17:12), help complete his work (Nehemiah 3:12), and remind him of God's dreams for our little family.

My dad's been amazing to teach me a lot of stuff that I didn't think I'll ever really need to know...  but he's training me to be able to come alongside and be an ezer kenegdo. More than changing a tire, balancing a checkbook,  or hanging wallpaper, he's taught (and is still teaching) me how to help people with their personal growth, be a leader that people want to follow, develop a business plan, pursue wise money management and investing principles, stay under the authority of a person I don't agree with or sometimes even respect, recognize my own personality strengths and spiritual gifts and build a team around me to accomplish a common goal, and  do what I know is right--even when no one else understands, let alone agrees.

We are to be more than companions--companionship can be bought. We are to be more than buddies--that's seen often enough when the guys get together for Monday night football or a cookout. We are to be more than a soft, feminine addition to his life--beauty fades so fast. We are to be more than confidants--the is best seen in a close "band of brothers" we pray he already has. We are to be more than helpers--he can hire an accountant, a baby sitter, a cook, a maid, a chauffeur... we are more than an extra set of hands... we are to be his "sustainer beside him."

What are you doing right now to become a sustainer? Who are you sustaining right now? It won't magically start once you've said "I do." Are you sustaining friends in prayer? Are you sustaining your mother with her full workload at home or your father at work? What can you do to lift up the hands of someone in need, be there in the nick of time, and--in a sense--allow them to realize, "What on earth did I do without her before?" THAT woman is an ezer kenegdo.

Relationships Part 1

God's been teaching me a lot about relationships recently, and it seems like He has more up His sleeve to teach me. I'm learning what godly relationships look like and what they should look like (which are often two different things), how a single girl's supposed to live when she's getting the "Wait" from God, and doing some internal reflection and realignment with the Bible.

I'm reading several good books right now and some of what I'll blog about will come from there. I've found some of these books from Amazon.com suggestions, borrowing from friends, friends' mother's recommendations, and conversations with girls in the same stage in life.

So, anyway, that's an intro to these next couple blog posts. Remember, this is what God is teaching me and what I am seeking to do with my relationships, not hard and fast rules for myself or anyone else! I am always open for questions, challenges, and thoughtful advice... :-)

refocusing....

I really never thought this would happen so quickly! I wasn't planning on being here for a few more years at least! And it's something where I will be years behind them... and it's frankly no fun sitting back and watching...


See... I have now officially entered the stage where my friends are all getting married. Let's just say 4 of my single friends bit the dust this weekend (what is it with May weddings?). Granted, I wasn't best friends with any of them, but they were all girls I'd known or had served with for the last couple years.


It seems like I'm always getting the comment, "I bet you're gonna miss your boyfriend while you're in Africa!" And I get to tell them, "well, actually I'm not dating anyone." Not now, never have. And I'm fine saying that, I really am. But I hate the reaction that I get. It's kind of this pity that sneaks into their voice as they reply with, "Well, keep holding out for a good guy, you'll find someone. Don't worry." Or even worse, "Singleness is a gift, and I'm glad you're embracing it" like they think they know all about me...


True. Singleness is a gift. Just like marriage is. Neither is better than the other. The apostle Paul seemed to put singleness above marriage, actually. But 1 Cor 7 is really about being able to serve God in either stage. Sometimes there are places and roles that we can fill better as a single person.


Amy Carmichael and Gladys Alward could not have run their orphanages if they were married. Would Amy have been able to provide a safe home for the temple girls if she was married and the girls were scared of men?


(And since this post is not a treatise on single missionaries, I'm gonna move on... I'm sure we could all list a ton of amazing missionaries who could serve God better because they were single.)


On another hand, would the US military be able to send men and women into combat zones if they were married? There are some missions, my brother tells me, where the servicemen are not allowed to be married. In a situation like "Blackhawk Down" would those men have been able to go back into the firefights if they were more concerned about their wives and children back home than their buddy losing blood from shrapnel in his femoral artery?


See it's all about focus.


"What I mean, brothers, is that the time is short... For this world in its present form is passing away. I would like you to be free from concern... An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord." - from 1 Corinthians 7:29-35


What am I focused on? Am I sitting here wishing I was walking down the aisle? (check) Am I sighing with discontent as I see pictures of my friends' pregnant bellies? (check)  Am I wishing away my singleness which includes an insane--and perhaps unsafe--amount of freedom to do anything, to go anywhere, and be anything I want to be? (hmmm...)


Right now I can serve God better single better than if I was married... so here I am.


This summer should be an incredible time of being 6,000 miles away from cell phone service, instant communication via text, and a whole bunch of distractions. I want to be whole-heartedly in Togo. Serving the doctors and nurses who are serving the people of Togo. Hearing from God what He would have me do after graduate school. 


And undergoing some desperately-needed refocusing.


(you can follow my summer at katiefarr-africa.blogspot.com)

Serving through medicine for God's glory... together

I'm reading a book called "Where Elephants Fight" written by Dr. Ardill, a missionary surgeon serving with SIM in Jos, Nigeria. The book is about his earlier missions days in Liberia during their civil war. I read it a few years ago, but it didn't really hit home like it has this read through.

I've been reading during my walks between classes, on my way to the Rec center, and on the bus ride to the grocery store... :-) and today one paragraph really hit me. I've been thinking about two seemingly incompatible desires--wanting to be a wife and mom and serve as a missionary physical therapist in Africa for the rest of my life--and wondering how God's going to work it out. It takes a special guy to want to serve in missions in Africa! I know He's going to work it out, but it's still hard to trust Him in the meantime; Dr. Ardill's words really encouraged me that God will work things out!

"...We said a tearful goodbye to our church friends in Baltimore and Dorothy's [his wife] parents and family. Saying goodbye is never easy but this time, for me, it was so much better returning to Africa with my best friend at my side. We were going together with a strong sense of God's leading and His confirmation in so many tangible ways. It had been a great nine months [since the wedding] together in the States. Now we were going out as a team to minister through medicine for His glory."

That's what I desire... a best friend to serve as a team through medicine together! But I want God's best more!!!

Quote

I came across this tonight and for some reason it really resonated with me... yes, it's totally secular, but I like her train of thought:

She’s not the type of girl to wait by the phone, she won’t cry, she knows it’ll get her nowhere, she’ll laugh a lot and often, and she will live her own life. She would like you to be a part of it, but she will do just fine without you.

— (via iamblessed.tumblr.com)

Wait for Me - Rebecca St. James

This post is nothing much different from last year's regulatory Valentine's Day post. But hey, it's OK. One day I'm sure I'll be posting pictures of the perfect date, the perfect guy, the perfect flowers, the perfect sappy over-priced Hallmark card... and it will be perfect because God picked him... and so for now, I wait.


This song by Rebecca St. James has been a really good reminder. I hope you will enjoy it as much as I have!


Darling, did you know that I
I dream about you
Waiting for the look in your eyes
When we meet for the first time
And darling, did you know that I
I pray about you
Praying that you will hold on
And keep your loving eyes only for me


CHORUS:
'Cause I am waiting for, praying for you darling
Wait for me too
Wait for me as I wait for you
'Cause I am waiting for, praying for you darling
Wait for me too
Wait for me as I wait for you
Darling wait


Darling did you know
I dream about life together
Knowing it will be forever
I'll be yours and you'll be mine
And darling when I say
" Til death do us part"
I mean it with all of my heart
Now and always faithful to you


CHORUS


Now I know you may have made mistakes
But there's forgiveness, and a second chance
So wait for me, darling wait for me
Wait for me
Darling wait for me

CHORUS