please pray

Please remember my friend Jessie who just lost her dad this afternoon...

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"Can I be your lead balloon?"

Ever wanted to pull someone back down to earth?

Ever felt like someone's gonna get their heart broken because their head's in the clouds?

Ever thought that someone has no idea what they're getting themselves into?

Ever wanted to be someone's lead balloon?

I sure have.

Maybe it's because I feel like it's my duty to help my good girl friends out when their hearts are so tangled up, when their heads are full of imaginings, and when their eyes only see the wonderful aspects of some guy.

I guess I did actually learn something from a book I read last summer. Check out the full blog post here. But this book made me realize that one of the most destructive thing I can do for a dear friend is encourage her fantasies, ask her "is he cute?" before anything else, and get all giggly when she tells me "see, there's this guy..." Ok, ok... it's fun to do. It's kind of payback for when those friends have done that to us, but seriously... is that in any way helpful?

Ok, before ya'll decide I'm crazy, let me explain that I mean it might be good to be a lead balloon for a friend when she's in the very beginning of a relationship. Then transition to an advisory/prayer warrior role while she's in the relationship. Then her biggest cheerleader when she makes that final commitment of marriage. But  sometimes us girls boost up an imagination, a crush, or an unhealthy/ungodly relationship just because we feel like its her choice and we should just be there for her whatever she decides. (on a very rabbit trail soapbox, that very same line of thinking can be super destructive when it comes to a friend/significant other considering an abortion)

I have a good friend who has been interested in a guy for a few months, and recently she believes that he's showing her a bit more attention and perhaps likes her. I remember when another girl and I felt that he liked us both at some point last year because of Facebook posts he'd left on our walls, verses he'd emailed/texted to us, and how he treated us like sisters. I tried to tell my friend that he'd acted similarly to us last year, but she didn't really seem to listen. And every time this friend gets an invite for a movie night, game night, or dinner at the dining hall, she feels like he's even more interested in her.

I just tell her, "I'm glad you're happy, and he is a very nice guy. But he hasn't told you explicitly that he like you--and until he does, you could be setting yourself up for heartache. And if you keep reciprocating, you're not pushing him to actually ever tell you his intentions... he needs to step out on a limb and ask you out. Right now it's all in limbo."

And I see the other girls around her fall into one of two categories. Like me, they're concerned about how over the moon she is, with very little confirmation on his end. Or they're the typical, "OMG, that's so cool! What exactly did he say? Has he called you back? What are you gonna wear?"

I don't know... I'm tired of being on her bad side and getting the "I was happy for you, why can't you just be happy for me" response. But I really hate picking up the pieces of my friends' hearts when guys (good and bad) break them. And unless I'm her lead balloon, who else will?

Actually, it might not be a bad thing to be known as "Katie Farr, L.B."

Any other girls out there willing to be a lead balloon for their good friends?

24/7

Follow up to this post

from dancingmannequin via lovequotesrus

REPOST: "stopped at the light..."

I wrote this over a year ago... and I find myself at the same intersection again facing the same traffic light and the same wave. Except this time the light's starting to flicker back on again, and I'm afraid to look and see what color it is...

stopped at the light...

(Waves explode over a seawall and into Galveston, Texas as Hurricane Ike approaches on September 12, 2008: picture from teentechguru)

I feel like I'm sitting at an intersection. The light was supposed to be green by the time I got here. Or even red. Or at least a cautionary yellow.

But no.

The light is out. And I look around to discover that I am the only car in the intersection. And about to be overcome by a huge tidal wave.

What now?

I want to go straight. Continue on the path that led me to this intersection. The people and events that propelled me this way encourage me to keep it "pedal to the metal." My heart is all to happy to follow along.

Are they right?

My parents, God, and the deeper heart says to turn. Take that short right turn. Pause at the line and turn. No need to stop, just a redirection of forward momentum.

How?

It's hard to even know which way to go. The light is supposed to tell me. That's why it's there! Make sure it's safe for all and keep things flowing in a smooth pattern.

Or does it?

Is that light-enforced pattern really the best? Is it really all that safe? Is it really what is best for each individual car--or for traffic as a whole?

Who cares?

Well, frankly traffic patterns mean nothing to me. I AM the only car. The wave IS coming. The light is STILL out.

What then?

When the Light isn't blinking out a clear message, when Water doesn't seem to bring life only chaos and destruction, when I find I'm in the Driver's seat...

The still small voice is still there. And I know which way to go.

But will I?

Renewal 2011

This past weekend I was at the Collegiate Navigators South Central Regional Renewal Conference... it was so wonderful!

Saturday afternoon I was completely worn out and instead of going to a second breakout session I took a nap and then sat by the lake and watched the waves... Sunday morning we had two hours to spend alone with the Lord; time to reflect over what we'd learned that weekend, what God wanted us to do about that, and hear from Him. That was probably my favorite part of the weekend.

Alas, I didn't bring my camera, so pardon the cell phone pics of my Sunday morning spot:

 

(and a pic that a friend snapped of me, courtesy of Daniel Miller)

It was good to see Peter again and hang out some with other Navigators from both A&M and other schools in our region.

(Peter, Me, Susanna-another Bstud leader, Michaela-who was in my Bstud last year, and Lauren, courtesy of Daniel Miller)

(the whole A&M group, courtesy of Daniel Miller)

Every campus helped in some aspect of the conference; this was A&M's contribution!

Dreams...

God, You blow me away.

Per Dad's request, my family's been reading "Put Your Dream to the Test" by John Maxwell. He and Mom have been leading a small group through the book and it's been interesting to hear what the group's been learning.

Go buy this book. Like seriously.

For those of you familiar with the Life Purpose Planning booklet, John Maxwell's book takes it a step farther. LPP focuses on finding the "golden thread" of God's hand in your life as you write down people that have influenced you, verses that have stood out to you, books you've read, experiences you've enjoyed, the meaning of your names, your spiritual gifting... it's actually a rather exciting little booklet and it was a good tool to kind of figure out that God's been preparing me for a life of investing into younger girls and has called me to something in the medical field and that all the traveling I've done is in preparation for overseas missions.

But "Put Your Dream to the Test" comes at it from a little more of a secular side. Mr. Maxwell says, "go dream... what's the biggest thing you can imagine... now, let's make sure it's something that is actually feasible and what needs to happen to get you there?"

I'm only on the 3rd chapter, but I wanted to share what I've come up with for the answers to the 1st chapter's questions. Maxwell encourages the reader to write down their dream and share it with others. If I can succinctly communicate my dream to those I care about and show my passion in a coherent manner that's a big first step--and a necessary skill for raising the money, personnel, and resources I'll need to carry out my dream.

The following dream has been inspired by many things; but especially by a paper I had to write last year for school, the book "The Hospital By the River," and some subsequent research I've done about that hospital.

I realize that this is not the normal type of post you'd expect out on a blog for the world to see (not that this blog is followed/RSS subscribed to by more than a few dozen people), but I want your comments.

Is this something you could see me doing? Will ya'll remind me of this when I post how much I hate PT school and anatomy lab?

And expect to see more installments as I delve into more of "Put Your Dream to the Test."

My Dream (December 31, 2010)

I desire to be a wife and mom, first and foremost.

I will, Lord willing, spend my life in sub-Saharan Africa, using physical therapy full time until I have a family (after which PT will become a part time position). I foresee myself working at a missions hospital compound, not in a small remote village.

I want to use PT with the amputee and VVF outcasts of Africa as a follow-up to surgeries performed.

After I have spent several years in Africa, have made connections, gained their trust, and built my “dream team,” I want to build a village for my patients where they can live for as long as they need PT or if they cannot return home. New patients will come to the center of the “village” to the “PT hut” for therapy, longer term patients will assist new patients, and permanent residents will help teach patients to read/sew/make crafts to bring in money.

My ideas for this village are based off a project already in existence with the International Fistula Foundation’s branch in Ethiopia, which can be found here: http://www.fistulafoundation.org/wherewehelp/ethiopia/longtermcare.html

Questions from John Maxwell’s “Put Your Dream to the Test” book:

Chapter 1

1.    The Ownership Question: Is my dream really my dream?

A.   What would I do if I had no limitations?

·         Go train with the PTs at “The Hospital by the River” in Ethiopia

·         See answers to C

B.   What would I do if I had only five years to live?

·         Graduate from A&M

·         Go to Nigeria this summer and learn alongside the nationals how to make prosthetics, and then be a lay PT there in Africa.

·         Get married

C.   What would I do if I had unlimited resources?

·         Donate money to NGOs like Mercy Ships and International Fistula Foundation to provide VVF surgeries and housing/training for chronically incontinent women

·         Build a “village” for VVF women and amputees where they share a little “hut” and there’s a PT clinic in the middle to provide long-term care.

·         Create a “dream team” of international healthcare professionals to fully staff the “village” and set it up as a clinical/training site for both international and local healthcare professionals to come train.

D.   What would I do if I knew I couldn’t fail?

·         Complete PT school

·         Get specialized in women’s health PT and prosthetic gait training

·         See answers to C

Haiti...

Haiti... it's something that we're all thinking about. We've seen pictures all over the media. I've personally seen three different A&M student organizations looking to raise money, received four emails from ministries whose newsletters I email-subscribe to asking for donations, seen two different blog posts on people's desires to go serve there, read two missionaries' pleas for help, seen at least eight signs around campus saying "Pray for Haiti," and been invited to a worship/s'mores/pray for Haiti night.

I understand that something horrible happened in Haiti. I realize that there are people dead and that more are dying and even more are left homeless or orphaned. I understand. I care. I pray.

But what about the other atrocities that never make it to the headlines, the front page, the internet sidebars, and the breaking news RSS feed emails and popups? What about the people in South America dying from malnutrition? What about the over 1 million girls sold into sex slvery each year? What about AIDS that ravages the African continent? What about the orphans in Ecuador where my friends are serving at a babies' orphanage? What about the civil war veterans in Liberia and Sierra Leone that are left amputees? What about....?

Why?

Why these tragedies?

Why the devastation?

Why the chaos?

Why the sadness?

Why the death?

Why, God?

I've recently been reading "Captivating" (girls, it's a wonderful book, but the workbook really makes it hit home!) and came across these thoughts from the chapter entitled "A Special Hatred."

We ask why? Because Satan is wreaking destruction on the glory of God in the earth like a psychopath committed to destroying great works of art. Satan was a beautiful angel (Ez 28:12-15) but he fell because no longer wanted to be "best supporting actor;" he wanted the Oscar all to himself. Now he seeks revenge on all that is beautiful and good. As women, I believe that he targets us especially because we are the ones who give life, who nurture, who allure the world to God. History is full of such examples. And they cannot be explained away by inherent evil in man, greed, or the lust for power.

"For we are not fighting against people made of flesh and blood, but against the evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against those mighty powers of darkness who rule this world and against wicked spirits in the heavenly realms." Eph 6:12 NLT

The only way to fight that is to pray; at this point, all I can pray is "Come quickly, Lord Jesus!" (Rev 22:20)

Praying for and supporting Haiti is a good thing, don't get me wrong... but won't you step back and look at the big picture?